while the advice mchn give you, is quite help full and does work , its not for everyone and its only advice , not a "you must do this " the advice should be taken and adapted to suit your family ..

at 4 months old i do not see how you are creating a rod for your own back , babies under the age of one cry to communicate , they dont understand how to manipulate (yet) so NO imho i do not think you are spoiling him and if you feel he needs a cuddle then give him one , you are his mum and know him best ...

there is no point in both of you getting upset , it will lead you both into frustration ..

later on its fine to impliment a sleep routine , but for now keep is loose , it may well be that he falls asleep in your arms , then you put him down , but when he wakes hes not where he was when he fell asleep , so he gets startled ..

its best for him to learn that if he cries you will hold him , they thrive on that , then later on in the middle of the night resettle him with out picking them up ... they will cry and scream and carry on, but for now give you man a cuddle and leave the guilt outside ...

dig into your motherly instinct , you will find the answer !!