Hun, I don't have any advice for you but plenty of warm hugs

I know what it feels like to be be alone at night, and a bit of the double life thing. But nowhere near your level.

You are an amazing strong mother and I do admire you. Everything you go through... you're amazing.

Hopefully someone will be able to offer some form of advice for you my dear...

ETA - Heaven's point about talking to him is a good one. I've found that really effective with DD. Along the lines of "DS, it is sleep time now. Mummy needs you to go to sleep. We've had a great day today, haven't we? Now you need to rest so we can have another fun day tomorrow!" Or something.