Kaz, I often don't say anything IRL either for the same reason, people thinking we're doing something wrong. But I really think the reality is it's just them being crap sleepers and eventually they will grow out of it.
Most people I know with kids 2-4 years old don't sleep through all the time (if at all), and still need help from mum or dad. Totally normal. Many pepole are 'ashamed' to say anything, which just helps to perpetuate the myth.
I agree MadB, seems sleep = good parent in most conversations which does not help!
Kaz I wanted to give you a chuckle as you made me reflect on some of my more desperate measures to get sleep. My silliest moment was when she slept 5 hours straight after eating crappy snags for dinner, so guess she had the next night? Yep and it worked! Only for 2 nights tho, then the preservatives must have kicked in. Ironically after much procrastinating we gave in and had a KIng size bed delivered last week and guess who slept through for the whole night in her own bed???
xxx
Kaz, this might be making life harder but my girls like to listen to music while they are going to sleep so they have an ipod that DD1 can operate (DD2 is almost there) but a cd player could work just as well. They have a few fave albums they listen to at night. If they wake up during the night then I go in and tell them it is still night time (they are not allowed up until it is light) and put the music on, give a pat and a kiss and leave the room. If you think that associating music with sleep would work maybe that could be an option?
Kaz. I know what it's like - we've been through all sorts of sleep issue combinations and permutations. I agree with MadB. I find so many other parents say their kids "sleep through" and then you scratch a little beneath the surface and it turns out they get up three times to put the dummy back in, or give them a glass of water, or yada, yada, yada. I found that one friend's definition of sleeping through was actually that she didn't have to get up, her DH did. Another convinced me that CC had worked for her and I should try it and then it came out that she was still BF twice a night. I really hope that with time they will all work out that sleep is kind of nice.
Can you get him a mattress that's big enough for both of you - that way you go to him and can perhaps have a snooze too?
And try your darndest to wear him our physically during the day - the more he runs/climbs/dances/swims the better he is likely to sleep.
I think it is OK to tell him during the day that "when you are quiet during the night Mummy gets more sleep and we can have more fun tomorrow" - I don't think of that as "conditional", more just helping him see the connection.
We have two single mattresses on the floor in DS's room. Through the day I put them on top of each other (when I have the energy and can be bothered) Looks like a single bed. At night I put them next to each other on the floor and sleep in there. At least DP doesn't get disturbed and if DS does sleep for a stretch you can roll away and get a bit of a sleep in your own space, before then next call anyway. I find it easier than getting up and down continually it just makes me even more tired, I didn't think it was possible but it is
I tried the running him ragged and exhausting him through the day and it doesn't make any difference with him. If he gets too much stimulation it makes it worse. I think with him it's his little brain that doesn't seem to switch off at night. He even talks in his sleep, laughs, cries, counts etc When he wakes he's quite often telling you something about the day or even a month ago. I'm hoping when his brain development starts to slow he'll sleep better... Isn't that around 4 or 5 though omg I don't know if I'll last that much longer. Well that's my only remaining theory anyway lol Maybe he's just torturing me for past and present life atrocities who knows
I know how you feel. All 3 of mine wake up at night, we normally end up with 2 in our bed and me or dh in the lounge room with DD2. I can't even think about throwing a newborn atm I wish at lease 2 would sleep. Dh starts a new job soon and if he is on afternoon shift 3pm till 11pm I don't know how I will do it.
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Kaz, this might be making life harder but my girls like to listen to music while they are going to sleep so they have an ipod that DD1 can operate (DD2 is almost there) but a cd player could work just as well. They have a few fave albums they listen to at night. If they wake up during the night then I go in and tell them it is still night time (they are not allowed up until it is light) and put the music on, give a pat and a kiss and leave the room. If you think that associating music with sleep would work maybe that could be an option?
Isn't that around 4 or 5 though omg I don't know if I'll last that much longer. Well that's my only remaining theory anyway lol Maybe he's just torturing me for past and present life atrocities who knows
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