HI guys thanks for the replies

Teach i have shortened the 'routine' and it seems to have helped a bit.

Now we are playing outside the room before bed, and the feed, then cheange nappy in room, say goodnight to 2 toys (the ones that she sleeps with - she like one in each hand) then into the cot.
She normally grizzles for a lttle while 9i stay and pat her back, but dont pick her up) but is no longer standing to cry which is heaps better.
WE also have a CD that goes on and last night she was asleep by the 3rd song whcih was soooo much better.

I am patting and then when i feel her settle i am just leaving my hand lightly on her and then after a while i just stand there so thats she can feel me in the room. when she is asleep i leave the room.
I think that this is going to take a while but its getting better... (tinight will probaby be a shocker now that i have said that!)

She is still waking overnight, last night was 1.30am and 3.30am and then up at 6.30 - (she was still tired but wouldnt resettle) but she will go back to sleep much quicker now with patting and then just my hand on my back, less than 5 mins

eventually i can see her getting off to sleep by herself, but i also keep thinking that she is only 11mths, i have my whole life with her and if i have to be tired for a while, really its not that bad, i also take heart in those that have been through the similar thing and their bubs have grown out of it.

Shell i have tried a few things out of books and they are awful and i just can go through with them.
Sometimes if she is really worked up i have left the room, but for no more than 30 secs, it helped a little as when i returned she would settle better and then i would stay with her til she was asleep. At times this took up to an hour, but really in the scheme of thing i would prefer that to the other methods...
thanks again guys