"Tough Love"

[HotI]

I hear ya! Most of the time i can just nod and smile or brush it off. When i'm going through a rough bit, and trying to work out what i can try next, it gets a bit harder. It's those times that i wish someone would say 'you are doing a great job'. it's the naysayers (usually people who do lots of things i wouldn't do and whose opinions i don't really care for) that seem to want to speak up then.

[Persephone1]

Oh hun, I hear ya. Apparently we're not allowed to be frustrated or upset or have a vent unless we're willing to accept all pieces of advice on how to fix it - even if we weren't looking for a solution, just venting. One of my MG heard me complain about DS's constant night-feeding and offered me a sachet of formula Why can't I just whinge for a minute without getting thrown stupid advice and "solutions"?

Also...my rule of thumb is that any advice that begins with "He HAS to LEARN..." is crap advice and should be disregarded as soon as possible.

You ARE doing a great job. keep reminding yourself of that and go gently - with yourself as well as with your DD

[dusty]

I was thinking about this last night as I've been experiencing something similar and Honeybee's words really resonate. Tough love is working for my friends in establishing routines, and a good quality of life for them as a couple and individually. I've even found myself questioning my parenting when face with their evidence but I always come back to I prefer to respond to my child's needs and with my child when she cries there is always a reason and I just need to work our what it is. The last couple of nights she has been waking every couple of hours doing my head in but she was really thirsty in the heat and once fed went back off to sleep happy and satisfied. Why would I have ignored her cries. I would be so unhappy too if I couldn't get out of bed for a drink and DH ignored my pleas for some water.

So thank you MummaSue for posting this and helping me understand why I am parenting the way I am when surrounded by differing advice. And like you I'm also going to skip on the social occasions if my child needs me (hopefully I will get to some but if not that's life). As Jennifer says this is such a short time (and it too shall pass) and I want to know I parented the way I wanted that met the needs of my child. I had 40 years of self indulgence and having things my way and in the last 6 years all I wanted was to have a child and meet their needs. So for me it really isn't a sacrifice as I'm doing what I was meant to do (if that makes sense?).