Emma,
I know where you are coming from - Rylee will be a year old in 10 days time - she still hasn't slept through the night, she still needs me to walk her around on my shoulder before she will go to sleep - day and night...if I put her in her cot awake no matter how tired she is she will just scream her head off. I have also been at the end of my tether and let her cry for 10 mins while I have some me-time before I go insane and she has vomited and then I have had the 'mummy-guilts' badly and vow never to do it again. Every week I shed a few tears at the frustration of it all and I had a woman the other day say to me accusingly "oh so you still havn't taught her to go sleep' which made me feel bad. I am sorry I don't have any helpful answers for you but you aren't alone, do what you feel best to get through this time, they are only little for such a short time and looking back on this period in her life will seem like blink of an eye when she is a little bit older - or so people tell me. The book that KymH suggested "Helping your baby to sleep - why gentle methods work best" is really good, I agree with her it doesn't provide the magic answers but gives you bit of understanding as to why bubs behave the way they do. I am also going to try and get my hands on the book that Kelly suggested "The science of parenting" I know there is no magic cure for this but it's always good to have other peoples persective on things.
You know even though your little girl isn't the best sleeper in the world she is probably fantastic at other things! They can't be good at everything hey?? Just do what you have to so you both get some sleep and ignore all the people in your life who aren't being helpful or supportive to you, you don't need those bad vibes or stress in your life at the mo!!! Hugs to you!!
Laurin