do whatever works for you at the time, if it is less stressful letting her stay up until 9pm than spending time agonising trying to force her to sleep, then let her stay up... honestly try not to worry about 'bad habits' - kids are resilient and its easy for them to be trained out of most things, kids that have been dependent on dummies all their life often give them up in just a few days, you think it can't be done but it can!

also she doesn't KNOW what time it is, she doesn't know she is going to bed at 9pm instead of 7pm.... i noticed a huge improvement on my little girl's sleep when she began to walk, she started having day sleeps and night time settled down a bit...

honestly its up to you how you go about doing things in your own home, but i spent a lot of time trying to force my dd into what she 'should' be doing, and at the end of the day, i would have enjoyed motherhood a whole lot better if i had of relaxed and followed her lead.... i know its hard not having couple time now, but say in 3 months time things settle down and she is in bed by 7pm, would you rather have spent those 3 months trying to get her to sleep, or would you prefer to have her on a playmat etc until she is exhausted and just wait out the phase....

if you decide the phase isn't ending you can always come up with a plan of attack, but honestly, most periods of unsettledness sort themselves out in time...

its easy for an outsider to say she is manipulating you into staying up later (even though she doesn't know what 'later' really is?!) but at the end of the day you are the one who has to deal with it, so do whatever works for you and what you can live with best...

good luck, hope it sorts itself out soon xx