So Nellbe, have you decided what you're going to do? I'd be interested to hear
You really can only do what's right for you, and maybe it's the sort of thing you can only learn what's right through trial and error (hopefully more success than error).

Ryn: same wavelength re friends' expectations. Hilarious yet frustrating. And ditto re unpasteurised cheese (at least you can get the good stuff over there) and coffee and al-co-mo-hol. I have this cunning plan, y'see, which is to be Too Busy To Be Hungover and thus able to curb drinking on premise of having enormous study commitments. Seems to work - sometimes. Have cut down coffee as have genuinely realised more than one cup of reeaaaal coffee leaves me feeliong a bit crap anyway. Unfortunately this doesn't take the cheese into account as everytime I refuse cheese I seem to get asked scornfully if I'm dieting which p***es me off no end. So if anyone has a master cheese ruse that can be successfully put into practise let us know! And congrats on the radical reduction of ticker timescale!!!! Hurrah!

Amben: perhaps you need to make your friend a special Captain Bleeding Obvious costume! I remember the smug turds who used to ask me in front of DH when he was going to ask me to marry him. Squirmingly mortifying. Like I had a clue and like my self esteem was going to rocket sky high after a couple of years of asking! Irritating when other people's values are imposed on yours. It takes a lot of strength to ride above it and a fair whack of humour.

sunny_summer: good idea about the dog. It also helps one deal with picking up someone else's poo.

It also occurs to me that maybe people ask how it's going when someone is TTC because they want to seem interested and as if they care. Maybe that's what they'd like people to do for them...