DH and I are still undecided as to whether we will have a third or not. I think we probably will but we have agreed that I need to go back to work to get a bit of financial security first... We have just taken on a second mortgage and need to get that a bit under control as well as wanting to do some renos to our new house, so we need to fund that somehow!

Whenever I hear of someone else announcing a pg, I am so delighted for them... But I feel a bit jealous. I want that again. That excitement when you poas, the thrill of seeing the second line, the joy of sharing the news.

I know being pg is tough and I know I am crazy for wanting that with two already... But I still want it.

We always said we wanted our kids close together and DS was totally planned... But we have had a bit of a hard time with the two of them and think that a bit of a bigger age gap won't be a bad thing with the third, if we have one.

We're thinking we will start trying around Christmas... We think Sept next year is a good time for a bub... That's what we think.

But then the irrational, sentimental, emotional part of me thinks how nice it'd be to have the third close to the others. The symmetry of having an 09, 10, 11 trio of kids. Now instead
I'll have 09, 10, 12. Assuming I can even conceive successfully when we want to. And it bums me. Crazy huh?

Even crazier... I am disappointed that I won't be able to say I have 3 under 3. There, I said it!



I just can't help it. No matter how DH and I rationalize it, I can't shake it.

And when I take my pill a bit late... Or miss one... I secretly think "maybe I'll get pg!!"

I'm silly, I know...

Just wanted to get this out... It's been brewing for a while...