thread: Friendship dilemmas while TTC

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    98

    Friendship dilemmas while TTC

    Hi ladies,

    Looking for some advice here, as I'm sure many of you will have been in this situation before... We've been TTC for a while now, and I'm feeling quite down about it (actually very down). Haven't told anyone that we're TTC because we think that will just put more pressure on.

    Meanwhile a very good friend has just announced she is PG (which resulted in me spending the rest of the evening sobbing privately in the restaurant bathroom). She wants to catch up to talk about being pg and sounds like she is needing some moral support. I really don't think I am the best person to be giving it right now though. I want to be a good friend, but know it is going to make me feel horrible.

    Any tips/ suggestions for surviving the 'chat'??

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    in lactation land
    3,776

    Hi Kiwi, I am sorry you are having a tough time TTC.

    You say she is a close friend. Could you consider telling her you are having difficulty TTC and while you are very happy for her good news, you are not in the best place to be a confident about her pg right now. Perhaps point out it isn't personal, it is about you trying to cope with your situation right now.

    I know it is hard when others seemingly fall pg all around you. There is a thread about how family and friends can help support those TTC for a length of time. I will hunt around for it for you in case you are interested. Here it is http://forums.bellybelly.com.au/foru...-ltttcers.html


  3. #3
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Canberra
    3,617

    I know you don't want to tell anyone you are TTC, but I think in this situation it would be best to explain to her what you just explained here. Tell her that although you are happy for her, you are also very sad for yourself, and would prefer to keep the baby talk to a miminum, and that you hope she can understand and keep this information to herself.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    Brisbane
    46

    Kiwi, sorry to hear you are so down. I, too, am trying to keep my head above water with ttc.
    I have the same issues as you at the moment. Eight of my friends have announced pregnancies in the last few months. EIGHT!!! I'm really happy for them, but I find myself saying "oh you are so lucky, we haven't had any luck yet". It's really difficult to not make it about yourself. I agree with the above - you might just have to tell your friend you are ttc yourselves and not having any luck, and though you are over the moon for your friend, you find it all too difficult to talk about at the moment.
    Good luck and be honest with your girlfriend, I know she'll understand.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    98

    Hi ladies,
    Thank you all so much for your advice. It makes me feel much better. You're right, I should tell her. I'm normally a bit private about this sort of thing, but I will see how I go (about to go and meet her now). Have promised myself a mars bar for afterwards as a little treat Will let you know how I go...

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night
    2,794

    Good luck. I hope she is understanding.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    98

    I survived! It was actually really good for me to hear that things have been not so easy for her. Bit of a reality check. Because mostly people only tell you their good news stories when they're PG. Was also good (not as scary as I thought) telling someone else I'm TTC. So I didn't need the mars bar afterall (but I ate it anyway).

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    where cosmopolitans and margaritas flow all night
    2,794

    Well I hope that being able to share your TTC experience with your friend will help you both. I'm glad that it went well.