He just laughed at me :( TTC Vent

[NaeNae]

SO I was telling Dh that normally a healthy couple has a 23% chance of conceiving a baby per month. Not sure where I read those stats but I also told him that because I am still BF DD that reduces dramatically down to 2 or 3%.

all he could do was grunt

So I said to him, to give ourselves a better chance at conceiving we should DTD EVERYDAY from when AF stops til ... well we get a BFP or AF arrives again.

He just laughed

Not in a nice way either. So I made a very valuable point of telling him that other guys would be THRILLED with the prospect of sex everyday adn that he should count his lucky stars!!

THEN I suggested that he take the male equivilientof the pregnancy supplement to give his boys a better chance/healthier etc ... he just rolled his eyes.



I swear if I could do it ALL my self I would.

He doesn't even get it, that everytime AF comes its like a friggin slap in the face and that it shouldn't be all about me starting things too ... but thats a whole other post in another section.

So tell me,

Does anyone else out there have partners who think the conception thing is one big joke?

He should know I am wiser and more knowledgeable about these things because I spend so much time researching

Nae

[skybie]

hmmm not in the same aspect, but he is quite arrogant about it, he says he has super swimmers because every time we've tried for a baby we've fallen first go, which is true, but at the same time, means im pretty fertile too

[Yeddi]

I don't think he sees it as one big joke, but he might see it as one big chore. I think it's important to keep the fun and intimacy in the sex, and not make it a job. AF might feel like a slap in the face, but he might feel the same away about being a sperm donor iykwim.

[toomanyshoes]

Yep HD is/was like that. Drives me up the wall!

[Liz]

Every second day is probably more realisitic. And I agree.. try not to make it too much of a chore. Just cook yummy meals and seduce him every couple of days LOL. My DH never liked performing just cos it was time.. and if we started too early in the cycle we ran out of steam by the time I was due to O. It really does take the fun out of it.. especially when it gets to long term TTC :/

[feeb]

TTC DS1 became a chore and DH said I was only using him for swimmers etc it caused fights frequently. I don't think he fully understood how depressing it was for AF to arrive each month.

He was not as rude though as to laugh at me but it is blooming hard as they don't have the same emotional attachment to a baby even before conception. DH didn't really bond with boys even when I was preg until after the birth.

Good luck hun you are not alone, would be easier if we could get ourselves preg!

[~Hestia~]

it wasn't nice that he laughed at you, TTC is very emotive.

[Shanti]

I agree. Every 2nd day is a bit more realistic.... it's very tiring doing it EVERY day!! (been there myself).....

Try to put your DH on zinc tablets if you can, I really think that helped us!!

Sounds like he's just not taking it as seriously as you are, which I think some guys are just like that! try not to get too worked up about it as it just won't help (I know easier said than done huh!).... big hugs. TTC sucks!!

[Taurean]

It can be so damn tough some times!

I think suggesting DTD every day that you can is a bit unrealistic too hon but if you did manage that, I'd give you 10 points for effort! My DH made it quite clear when we started TTC DD that he didn't want to be made to feel like a 'sperm donor' and trying to shovel pills into him (I tried to get him to take zinc) and jump him at every chance only made him distant and annoyed at me. Looking back, that's fair enough too.

Are you/still using OPKs? I highly recommend the ClearBlue Digital OPKs. Super easy, no nonsense and no guess work. I'd also recommend trying PreSeed if you haven't already. BF tends to dry up your CM which is why it referred to as a birth control, so to speak. PreSeed is great to give you a bit of extra sperm friendly CM. Also, are you using FF? It's fun to use (and so interesting!) and helps 'pass the time' while TTC I reckon

I really hope it all comes together for you this month hon. I have everything crossed for you.

[NaeNae]

Thanks Ladies

Sex these days is a chore anyway neither of us are ever really in the mood despite good intentions. DD almost always ends up in bed with me through the night which means DH ends up on the couch. Its also usually 9pm before we have "time" to ourselves and by then he is snoring on the couch anyway.

As for seducing ... um .. so thats like foreplay huh? sorry not having a dig but the ONLY reason we seem to dtd is when we're TTC and ONLY because I initiate it. And I am serious which is really sad.

Taurs - will get some Preseed stuff is it pharmacy or supermarket? Zinc in an excellent suggestion surely he can do that! I gave up trying to do the OPK's and FF seemed to stress me out too much trying to get ALL the right information, thats too much like hard work

I ahve to admit, they way our sex life is its a friggin miracle we EVER fell pregnant in the first place,but thats a whole other thread.

Thanks again lovelies x x x x

[~TT40~]

*big hugs*

[Taurean]

You need to get Pre-Seed from some pharmacies or online. Got to preseed dot com dot au It seemed to work well for us at the month we used it, we conceived DD. Someone was selling some Pre-Seed on here too...will hunt down the thread.

I say start using OPK's again too. Give the ClearBlue Digital ones a go - they aren't hard to use at all. When you're ovulating (or about to), you get a smiley face on the screen! You just need to DTD around the 48 hours of getting the smiley and you're done. I bought my last pack on eBay from the UK and they were so much cheaper than in Aus. I paid $60 for 20 tests and 10 HPTs where the OPKs are $70 for 7 here in Aus!

Don't be too hard on yourself hon. It's tough to get in the mood when you're a parents and BF can sometimes make it worse. I really didn't find my mojo again until DD weaned. I know that's no help to you but just wanted to let you know it can be and is normal

ETA: Here's the thread for the Pre-Seed for sale https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...-price-157154/ - Shanti has it!

[Liz]

As for seducing ... um .. so thats like foreplay huh? sorry not having a dig but the ONLY reason we seem to dtd is when we're TTC and ONLY because I initiate it. And I am serious which is really sad.

LOL - well it's good in theory Don't worry... you are not alone. We were exactly the same.. and the longer it took to fall, the worse it got

[miloro]

Nae, I completely understand where you are coming from. After Dh constantly telling me "it'll happen when it happens" I snapped at him. Yes, it will happen when it happens but for it to happen we need to DTD and seeing as though a woman only has a very small window of fertility each cycle, he needs to step up to the plate particularly as TTC was his idea (sorry for making this my vent). We agreed that from O being confirmed until a week after AF we were on his clock and after that we were on mine and he had to step up - doesn't always go my way but better than nothing. If you find the answer to get a DH to be more involved and understanding, share it with the rest of us. Until then,

[~clover~]

When we were trying for DS it did take a while. I was off contraception for 11 months. Trying for about half that.
FWIW it was the month we dtd every night I concieved him! Towards the end I was soooo over it!

Men aren't that interested in the finer details, thats all. When you know everything & keep talking about it, they get tired of it. They just want the fun stuff.

Every 2nd day should be enough. Try different things Have a shower together, go for a walk outside, get someone to watch DD while you both go for milk
Be sneaky... makes it more fun