Thanks Natalia, she is my lovely ladychops

I guess it was difficult to get the full picture as your posts had been quite short. I too spent a lot of time looking after other kids before i had my DD (from about age 14 onwards, so for more than a decade) and i can definately say it is different when it's your own and there's no-one (like you for your sister) to hand them too. But it does sound like you have a reasonable idea of what it's like running about crazy after kids. One of the hardest things i think about parenting is accepting it is your job, your duty, your responsibility to give your child love, but not your right to expect it back. You do get it back, if you're lucky, but you can't expect it.

That said, there are NO rules about what makes a good mother. Lots of people judge me because i'm a single mum, a SAHM, on benefits etc. but i'm raising my DD how i think she should be, whatever that means for me.

But i did want to tell you that no matter what size you are, or whoever's told you you're not pretty (grrr! Who says that!?) there is someone out there for you. You DESERVE to be loved sweetheart, and you have a right to demand it. Your ex sounds like a jerk, you are well-rid (my ex stated that he was too selfish to be a parent, though he supported me when i had a surprise BFP - guess what - he was RIGHT! He's grown up a lot now, and tries very hard, but it was still not enough to keep us together...). You deserve a loving partner, don't knock yourself of believe people who tell you you're not worth the stars. THey know nothing.

H