Hey danielle, i tried all day yesterday to log on to bb to read your post but it would not load for some reason,
any who, big hugs to you for all thats going on in your family atm, i know its hard to see light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there, and things will pick up for you. My fingers are crossed for you that you get a bright double line on a stick soon.
Things have not progressed over my way, although hubby had a job interview yesterday and is doing a trial run today. Fingers crossed that he likes it and it works out for him as that was a major reason for not ttc till april as he wanted to have a job, all the other kids were concieved while he was employed.
No more dtd since i last typed about it, but thats ok as it was to early in my cycle any way and no where near ovulation, im am a late ovulater, for me i ovulate aprox day 19. Although any thing can happen right ladies...hehe
I just thought, if i do get utd this month, i would be due the week before my sisters wedding, ahh.
Oh well...
heya girls I did a test yesterday and it showed a second very faint barley visible line. Just to report back on that one Im NOT pregnant stupid bloody dam test! I have done another one today its showing absolutely nothing, I had it set in my mind that I was cause thats what happened on my pregnancy test with my 2nd bub, it showed very feintly then it got darker and darker each day as my HCG levels increased, I guess not this time ladies. I have spent alot of the afternoon just crying my moods have been horrible lately. All I want now is just to be alone to think about if I even want to try anymore, hubby said to me this arvy "we get to move into our new house earlier, looks like your UTD too so things are really looking good for us now" thats why I wanted to be UTD put a little bit of happiness back into our lives after the past year and what we've all been through. But now I dont know what to do, DH is being so good about it he says hes happy either way, and he did get used to the idea as well that I could of been pregnant and it grew on him he also looked a li ttle disappointed this arvy when I did the second test.
Oh well it was only a negative reading, nothing stops here just because you might be sad or disappointed I better get my tired little girl into bed now. Thanks for listening .... again
hows everyone elses TTC efforts going? I havnt heard much in a little while... spill all....
Danielle- wow.. i sure know how it feels to have so much happening. Let me spill you mine to maybe have you feel slightly better, or atleast know that others out there have had a ****ty time too ...
June 2006 we started the ball rolling for building our dream home on our block of land. Started trying for bubby #2 sept 2006, succeeded 1st time. 20 week scan found out the news we wanted to hear, our baby was a boy... we would have one of each.
At 21 weeks my fiance was crushed in a machine at work, basically died. He had 4 spinal fracture's, small bowl herniated through his abdo wall, scrotum sack cut in half, various serious lacerations, his whole mid section de-gloved and moved approx 5cms to the left. He was in a coma for 2 weeks.
Our house was schedualed to be started on the wednesday of that week, he had his accident on the tuesday.
Then on the thursday i got a call from my midwife saying i had tested positive for CMV and i had to have an appt the following week to possibly have a termination! :O
I can not even start to describe the feelings and state of mind i had that week!
So, after preassure from the builder's and advice of the dr's telling me my man want going to make it i had to make the decision to cancel the building of our home!
So, step by step luckily my man came thorugh, and with alot of love and me tending to his side, we got through his accident, as well as have scans every 3 weeks for the dr's to keep checking if our son was showing signs of congiental cmv. Anyhow, we got to the birth, our son was just perfect but got shipped away from us for testing.... THANKFULLY.. my body took the brunt of the whole infection and we areso greatful!
So, then it was just a case of getting on with life, with what it had given us!
So now, here we are almost 2 years since the accident (happened in feb 2007), we are now selling the block of land, it is the final chapter of that dream which is well and truly gone..... life has changed so much since then.... and we figure we build new dreams. We are still renting, as we had no choice after his accident, due to everything that happened, i suffered badly with depression after my sons birth, so havent lost any weight i put on with him and my daughters pregnancy, SO.. although ideally i would ahve loved to have lost my wieght before going for #3, and for getting married... im also following my heart..... and my heart is screaming for a baby so bad....
To add to this btw, our son is very small for his age and we only recently found out why. He at some stage got infected with giardia. It is parasite found in dirty water, now we dont have a tank, we dont go swimming in rivers, we dont go camping...so the dr is totally bemused as to how he got it, but it has meant he is way to small... he is 18 months and only 8.5 kg's!!
He has been treated, and now i just have to fatten him up. but still very hard.
You follow your heart, dont worry about anyone else...... they arent living your life!
Me-well i am anxiously waiting for NEW YEARS EVE lol im really hoping DF's swimmer's wernt affected by the accident and we fall easily like the 2 times before..... seeing as we are only trying once this month lol. Part of me feels crazy for wanting another one right now..... as things are so crazy and hectic BUT... if the accident hasnt taught us anything, it doesnt matter what is going on RIGHT NOW, cause anything can happen.
When we fell with DS, we were smooth sailing, in the process of building, house woiuld of been finished for his arrival..... but life had other plans instore for us!
Ok i have no idea why iw rote all this, i hope this helped omewhat!
It is so great we have eachother here cause i dont have anyone either... apart from the fact i dont have many friends really if any, my mum thinks im crazy to try now... wants me to wait... my MIL well a whole nother story.
oh my you guys have had a hard run, i know what its like to be in the postion of almost loosing your other half, I lost my fiancee when I was only 19, and the horrible part was that I was the person there to witness his work bike accident and tried to revive him ahd him going until the ambos got there then he passed on all of his throat was pretty much crushed from the bike landing on him, you are very lucky to have each other - big hugs for you, but I can only imagine what you went through on his recovery journey also. I since have found my second true love which was my best friend who just so happened to get me UTD first before I realised I had any sort of feelings for him lol. Now we're married 2 sort of healthy kids, we dont get much sleep atm keep waking to check on Ryley in particular with his breathing troubles cause he just stops breathing in the middle of the night, but he sleeps right beside mummy every night and I cant remember the last time DH and I slept in the same bed.
But I guess all in all theres no real reason why life dishes out the hard yards for some and golden platters for others, its just the way life goes, and in reality you either crumble with it, or let it make you stronger and a better person for dealing with it in the right way. Sometimes I just get fed up with it all its one thing after the next, and really with all the rest of lifes normal problems going wrong like crashing cars, bills, and whatever else, you cant put a price on how valuable health is its the most worrying thing of all to the point where you are worrying yourself sick about your loved ones, but we as mummys have to stay strong for everyone, cause like Lisa said to me yesterday a happy mum makes a happy home! If you start to worry or show it more than what you should everyone else will too and its our job to try and keep everyone else strong. Arent mums a wonderful thing?
Im sorry to hear about your terrible time of late too, but like you said we never know whats going to happen, and when you've hit rock bottom with everything in your life it can only get better cant it? And its not whats happening thats bad in your life, its how you deal with is what makes you perceive it in the way you do, luckily I have had a positive attitude most the time with it all, even though sometimes I feel like Ive had enough.
I am too so glad I have this forum to vent in there are so many of you just like myself, and I cant vent to my family, cause it only makes them worry and they need a happy mummy right now.
good luck for TTC#3
we dont know if im pregnant or not yet waiting for my period, if i didnt get preggers in this cycle i will do a little resting from it all for a bit maybe until things blow over with the kids, have to wait and see wont we
Well hubby and i dtd this morning, no protection and later we were playing with the baby in bed and having fun and laughing, i asked if 'when we do start ttc could he let me know', he smiled and said 'when it happens then you will know'.
Does he mean when i fall pregnant then i will know that we were ttc?
I dont want to push the issue with him, im trying to be casual and in a "i dont care" attitude, so i did not ask any more questions, but geez thats confusing.
Im now on day 13, but im sure i am a late ovulater usually day 19, so it may not even count, but hubby not using any protection is giving me a good indicater that he does not care even though he says he does. Its easy for me to follow this month as af was on dec the 1st. But i was kinda on the pill (on and off) last month that gave me af for 3 weeks, so my cycle could be out and i could ovulate any time really.
Im starting to think im making this harder than it needs to be, i need to let go and go with the flow.
Lisa, lol i would take that as a "when your pregnant, then you will know"... lol
i reckon he doesnt wanna put a tag on it..... as he has basically said so, in a sense.... you are ttc. I still reckon using the tag "nttnc" is what you need to do cause then you get the tag you need and he gets the no preassure! WIN WIN i reckon!
real soon.
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