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thread: Will you leave it as a surprise or not??

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    Will you leave it as a surprise or not??

    To all TTC'ers & nearly TTC girls,

    (Mods, sorry if this is in the wrong forum! Please move it if it is!)

    Do you know if you are going to find out the gender of your baby in your 2nd trimester (when you can find out) or will you wait for the birth to find out? We are really considering finding out the gender but then there is the other side of it where we are hesistant to find out as we might be spoiling what we will find later, as a surprise that should have waited....

    It does not matter whether you have a baby boy or baby girl, as long as Mum and bubs are healthy that is all that matters to me (and i'm sure all women out there!) However lately, with us TTC very soon and all, we've been talking about if we are going to find out the gender of the baby or not... we don't think we'll be able to stop ourselves from finding out!!!

    I will want to plan the nursery and the clothes colours, and the toys etc etc and instead of receiving all white or green or yellow clothes, we can have pink clothes for eg..

    I guess it's not easy to find out when you have your bub turning around in the womb not facing you so you can't see it's private parts... but if you could find out ... will you????

    Has anyone found out the gender of their baby and then soon regretted it as they wished they had kept it for a surprise after a painful delivery???
    What are your thoughts?

  2. #2
    Mum2Furbabies Guest

    I hate surprises, I am the kind of person who likes to be organised and always know what's going on, so I would be dying to know the gender! But DH is adamant that he doesn't want to know. And I couldn't keep a secret so I will have to just put up with not knowing when that time comes...

    Most people I know who have had a baby recently or are PG or TTC have all decided not to find out.

    But,like you, I know I will want to go out and buy lots of clothes and have everything ready...and not all in 'neutral' colours.

    At least you and your DF are in agreement with your indecision, not on totally opposite sides like me and my DH!

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    yeah it's a tough decision to make I think!! We're so up-in-the-air about it all! We'd probably end up not finding out but it will kill me just waiting... I suppose once the baby is born you can go shopping to get all the clothes (in between feeds and changes!!). I would just be worried that if i find out, i'll regret it ! LOL don't know why...
    picking names would be easy as then you could focus on just picking a girls name/boys name only......its also making use of technology these days!!! ppl years ago didnt have the luxury of finding out!
    And knowing me i'll buy a few clothes in pink and a few clothes in blue! If it's a girl, we can always sell the boy clothes or give them away

    I hope you get a very soon!!!!!!!! xx I hope i'm not too far behind...

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member

    Feb 2007
    1,029

    Before my MC I was adamant I wanted it to be a surprise and I really wanted a girl, but would have been happy with boys IYKWIM.

    Now I've had a MC, I feel like I would want to know as a way to make the pregnancy more real, now I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just a healthy bub.

    DH wanted a surprise before and still would like a surprise now.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    We never found out with the first three, and even if we did want to know, they were quite modest and never showed us anyway LOL (I always asked if the genitals were visible JIC I changed my mind) but this time around I found out as I just wanted to for a change and also so I could start planning a few things. My DH doesn't know that I know though, so even though I have brought boy things, I have them hidden. It will be a nice surprise for DH as he really wants another boy this time to even the teams apparently.

    It was really nice to have the surprise at the end to find out what it was, but even though I know this time, it will still be a surprise to find out what he looks like etc.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    Sherie, that's true i guess, it's still a huge surprise at the birth with how the baby looks like... lots of hair, no hair, dark hair, light hair, button nose etc... cute!
    I'm just thinking about it all the time even though we aren't even pregnant yet !!! I just cant' wait....
    that's special that you didn't find out about the gender and now you are finding out.. that's really nice how you know and DH doesn't.... we might even end up doing that actually! hiding the cute little boy clothes would be hard!!!!!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara
    14,222

    I have stuff all over the house LOL. The hardest part isn't actually hiding them from DH as he'll never look for stuff like that, but hiding them from the kids cause if they see them, they'll tell him.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    6,869

    We wanted to find out with DD but she was a shy lil bubba and wouldnt show us. With this bub it did become shy but we could find out the gender due to the position of the bladder.

    I prefered not knowing with the first to make it a big surprise...but this time i needed to know to brace myself if it was another girl

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Dandenong Ranges, Melbourne.
    5,673

    i really wanted to find out cos i can't help myself but dp was adamant we shouldn't find out, so we've left it as a surprise. i think it makes it a bit funner for everyone else (family, friends etc) cos they all get to have a little surprise when its born. i think for my second baby though i'll want to find out

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    Perth, Australia
    744

    Don't forget that finding out the gender of your baby is not always 100% accurate. You might think your having a boy just to find out its a girl. I'm sure you would get over the initial shock and love your bub just the same. But you might have feeling of dissapointment if you have just spent all you money on boy stuff.
    DH and I both want to find out, if bub wants us to know on the day. But I still plan to stay with fairly neutral stuff, with just a couple of gender specific items untill bub is in my arms.

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    Central Coast NSW
    1,982

    We will be finding out... we asked to know with DD at our scan and the guy said "it kinda looks girly" lol so we werent to sure if she was a girl or what so i bought all neutural stuff.. i absolutly hate not knowing stuff lol... hate waiting so yep we'll be finding out

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    1,564

    We didn't want to know with our first baby, and had lots of fun trying to guess what he'd be, you know, doing the ring thing, comparing pulse (apparently it is stronger on one side which can indicate boy/girl, I forget which side/which gender now) etc. (I always had a gut feeling he was a boy though.)

    With our second baby I wanted to know, was thrilled to find she was a girl and got to go shopping for her in the sales at Pumpkin Patch. We kept it a secret from everyone else though.

    With the baby that we lost we wanted to know and I manage to get pg we will find out too - mainly from a preparation angle. Not sure if we'd tell people what we were having though.

    I know of a few people who were told one thing and when the baby came out it was wrong.

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    thanks for sharing your ideas and your stories girls gives us something to think about when it's time to find out the sex or not (when we are preg!). I think we will keep it a secret Besides, i would be so upset to find out i had been told it's a girl when it's a boy because of the shock factor. boy or girl, doesn't matter i'll be so happy either way!!! hence that's why i should just wait!! I'm just not very patient so it will be hard waiting! hehe we'll just buy 2 or 3 items of each colour, pink and blue and then when bubs is born go shopping...
    Kimbaz, are you having a boy this time or another lil girl? I can't work it out from your signature... ? or is it a secret..!

    thanks girls!

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    gold coast
    1,759

    i am unsure if i wanna find out as well. i am thinkin of gettin it written down and then saving it for christmas so we can open it as a family(thats if i am a preg b4 then and am able to find out lol)

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Mar 2007
    6,979

    Sassy that's a great idea i think... I don't think you would be able to stop yourself from opening it! I know I wouldn't be able to help myself, i'd probably last until i got home and then crack! hehe LOL
    I think i'm swaying more towards waiting so it's a surprise... it will just be hard buying things and have to think about colours etc. DF will be happy to go with whatever I want... he doesn't really mind either way.
    because my sister just gave birth to her little girl,2 days ago, and i'm now an aunty, now I'm feeling even more cluckier than ever, it's killing me... i just can't wait until it's my time to be pregnant gosh, it's all i think about lately

  16. #16
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Perth
    1,171

    One of my friends said that with their first, they decided to wait and see, and I thought it was a sweet reason why. My friend said that she felt connected with the baby, felt it grow and move inside her through the pregnancy, and she wanted her DH to have the special moment of seeing the bub when it entered the world, and letting her know if it was a little boy or girl.
    I think we'd also wait, I'm a bit worried about the scans getting it wrong (it happened to someone else I know recently: first scan boy, second scan girl (born a girl)...

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Berwick, Melbourne
    947

    Hello...we had our first 3 months ago and we didn't find out the sex. the reason being was that I wanted a suprise at the end and I didn't want to find out and then regret finding out. I always thought that then we could find out for the next one. Now...I don't want to find out for the next one either as the best moment of our DDs birth was finding out that she was a gorgeous girls. We did a bright nursery that could be used for both genders and in a way I am glad that we have some gender neutral clothes for 2 reasons - everything else is now pink (not many other colour options for girls) and when we have the next one, if it is a boy we will still have some clothes that he can wear too. Just my opinion but I remember it as being spectacular and it makes me smile everytime!

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    397

    i am with Mum2furbabies I HATE Suproses! so will def find out,

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