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Thread: Why the negativity surrounding your period (AF)?

  1. #19

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    I only refer to menstruation as "AF" online, as it's part of the lingo here. I don't mind the female name as I don't want any more than one male near my private parts ATM LOL! Plus if you think about it,, the egg is X, the sperm is X or Y, so technically what's coming out each month is X = female. Oh crap, that could SO be interpreted another way and contradicted. Way TMI. Ahem.



    Like Jane for me AF means terrible pain so every month I am on tenterhooks, revising whatever I have planned and constantly checking to see if there is any sign so I can take medication before the pain floors me. And most of the time I get the pain first before any other signs! So yes, in that sense, I truly hate it. However, having a period also means an end to PMS & bloating and like some others have said gives a sense that my body is working.

    But as for TTC and getting your period when you'd so desperately wanted otherwise, that must be truly devastating. I'm new to this and am full of hope - in this way I am lucky, but I know deep down only time will tell. My heart goes out to all of you who have been through this.

    Plus I suppose the talk about AF brings a bit of humour into what must be a raw emotional situation.

  2. #20

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    Just wanted to say 'well said' to all the LT TTC and AC girls. I didn't reply to this when I saw it this morning for fear of saying the wrong thing.

    For us, it's truly a case of "until you walk in my shoes". I've been on both sides of the equation, have fallen prg very easily and now can't fall prg at all, so I know that first hand.

  3. #21

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    LIke a few others have said. It will be a relief to be at a stage in life where it no longer matters to me when my period is due. For a few years now I most certainly have mourned each blood find on the toilet paper...
    I don't call my period AF because I like to call a spade a spade... But each to her own...
    May all our dreams come true in 2007!!!

  4. #22

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    Willow I too have been in LTTC with Indah.. Honey I hold massive hopes for you....

    I hate AF(prior to here it was my period!) with a passion, I dont really care if its' natural or not to be honest, it should be something men can deal with, why do we have too?
    I have missed out on some wonderful Ceremonies & cremations due to AF..
    I hate the feeling of pulling in my stomach, my hair going frizzy, zits on my face & the crazy woman it can turn me into....
    When TTC I hate it more coz it is another month of not knowing when I would be carrying a baby within, but even not TTC, I mean it just isnt a great, pleasing experience like fresh seafood eaten on the beach whilst staring at a sunset hey!!!

  5. #23

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    Well said Tracey!

  6. #24

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    :hugs: Willow

  7. #25

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    I dont really think its hosility, but more disappointment..

  8. #26

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    I think for me it is sadness, hostility, anger, frustration, grief, relief...

    For me, with PCOS and stupidly long cycles, it can be an utter sense of relief that a 70-80 day cycle is now finally over and that I can have a fresh start.

    Unfortunately, there's only been once that AF arrived when expected, and that's been because I took provera to end the cycle. I'm always surprised to find that I have AF, sad that it's just one more reminder that my body doesn't work properly, and that I can't ignore my fertility problems for any moment of the day. The fact that you are infertile feels like it is being shoved in your face, rammed down your throat, it simply will not be ignored and let you go about your day... while at other times, you can put it out of your head and focus on what needs to be done.

    Also, during AF I usually get terrible arthritis flares. It's not just about period pain, it's about every joint in my body screaming in agony on top of the regular period pain.

    We're currently rolling around to 12 months TTC, and in that time there's not been one single moment when I can confidently say that I have ovulated for real. The fact that I'm only on my 6th cycle in 12 months is a huge indicator of just how bad a state I'm in... and I'd probably still be on cycle 5 if I hadn't taken the provera!

    So, I shall send many :hugs: to my fellow LT TTCers and ACers... it's truly not something that anyone can understand until they have walked in these shoes.

    BW

  9. #27

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    :hugs: Butterfly...

  10. #28

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    I dunno ... I must be a bit weird ....

    I was also LTTTC and would have dearly loved for AF to turn up regularly, because she so rarely did! Every day she didn't turn up was a reinforcement that my body wasn't functioning in a way that even gave me a chance of a BFP. And every day she didn't turn up was another day I had to wait to start injections or blood tests or monitoring or whatever ... my long cycles always seemed to mean that I was waiting for longer, and AF turning up was welcome for me, because it meant I could get on with the next stage of the journey.

    Whereas, if AF had turned up regularly, I guess I wouldn't have felt such frustration and powerlessness ...

    Just another side to the LTTTC fence I guess

  11. #29

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    Hi Cherie

    Yep...I can definitely see your point...

    It would feel awful not to have AF rarely or unpredictably.

  12. #30

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    That is so true. At least if our period is regular we can know approximately when to begin the undy checks!

  13. #31

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    The term AF comes from the old fashioned euphemism 'A visit from Aunty Flo' or 'Aunt Flo is visiting'

    I personally wish 'she' would visit more often then it might mean I would be ovulating. Having never had a regular cycle I actually get excited when I get my period. However when it goes on for more than a week and is so heavy I am scared to sit down for fear of staining furniture then I get a bit sick of it! I dream of a 28 day cycle where it lasts only five days.
    Last edited by Loveinamist; November 20th, 2006 at 09:21 PM.

  14. #32

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    It's really interesting reading your thoughts and I'm glad this has generated some interesting discussion.

    I really don't like getting my period either - it's very painful, lasts for ages and it's really heavy. I can also appreciate that each person has their own love/hate relationship with "that time of the month" and that, depending on where you're at in your life, you greet it with different emotions.

    I know that for the past few months when I've got my period I've told my DH that "my uterus is crying" because there was no baby in there.

    Despite this, I suppose I just can't envisage calling my period a "Her" and making it into "someone" I could get angry at. It's just my body.

    XXs to all those LT TTC and to those who long for regular cycles

  15. #33
    TTC4DH&ME Guest

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    Agreed it is something you can not question peoples attitudes unless oyu have been TTC for a while I hate my period as I allwayse have it is inconvenient and irritating.

    we have been TTC for 30+ cycles and if I look at it that I have only had 30 goes at it and will get it at some stage it does not sound that bad!

    Some months I hate that I have my period as it means a BFN other times I am just looking forward to it being over so I can O and have another go at it!!!

  16. #34

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    One part of if, other than the extreme pain and illness that accompanied it, for me was the annoying part that my cycle was absolutely regular 28 days almost every single time like clockwork - good, yes. However the frustration that exists for me in well if my body can do that right and cause all this pain - why the hell cant it hold me a baby!

    Some months when AF comes it doesnt bother me nearly as much, other months I have been a blubbering mess for days. It reiterates to me that the chance of my being a mumma is fading..

  17. #35
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Ummm cos it sux!! LOL
    I can't say I enjoy cramps, mood swings etc. That's why I get negative about it.

    As for calling it AF or some other weird name... because the word "period" is like other "female" bits. People call vaginas all kinds of names too. The real words have a bit of a stigma.
    AF is easier to type, LOL

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