Donor Conception General Chatter #4

[sushee]

This thread is for those who have, for various reasons, decided to utilise a donor to assist in their dream of having a child. It is also a place for those who are donors, are considering donating, or are in the process of donating.

Please note that we do not allow posts that advertise for donors or recipeints.

This thread is for general chatter and support only. Please ensure that any discussions between donor and recipient regarding donation is not posted in this public forum.

Any post which is considered advertising will be removed.

If there is anything you would like to discuss about the thread or have any problems then please contact one of the moderators. All emails/PM's are treated confidentiality.

Sarah_H
Cherie
sushee
Cailin

To contact any of the above, please see this post.

Read up on your old thread here

[MsPink]

Hi Millie,

I know that Anne Clarke at Fertility First (Sydney) brings in from Xytex. In saying that (and I dont mean to be too negative) I am not sure you will ever find the 'exact' criteria in Australia.
She also has a few 'donors' in stock so to speak and you can only choose from these.
Being a small clinic, I am sure they would be willing to order for you - providing he is an open (child can get his identity at age 18) donor as required by the laws in NSW.
When I was looking for donor I was told (in a nice way) by the clinics...this is what we have...this is all you can choose from. I guess you know the donor stuff in Aust is 'slim pickins'..so sadly a lot of choice doesnt come into it if using unkown.
I hope this helps you in some way...

[Millie08]

Thanks for that Lulu.. I'll get in contact with her next week. It's worth a try!! I have the codes from our list ready to go..

That's also pretty much what my clinic has said to us too (also in a nice way) .. that we have to be a little more flexible. But my DH is extremely tall and all the ones that they have chosen are quite short (compared to him anyway) and so are all of their family members.. we just want to try to get someone who is a bit taller!! Not so we can have a basketball playing family.. but just to ease comments later on down the track.

Anyway, all we can do is try and try again.

xx

[blizz]

Millie,
the information we received about our anonymous SD was fairly standard stuff, it listed characteristics, history ie,religion, education, occupation, lifestyle, Health history, information form donor about why donating and his wishes for the use of the sperm, ancestors, siblings and children.
The donor we finally used was not the one we first chose as the first donor we were using for AI had been in the data base a while and their was no information on his genetics (mainly carrying the cystic fybrosis gene) After we started AI treatment my b and SIL gave birth to my adorable nephew who unfortunately has the severest form of CF as well as bowel problems that resulted from CF while in utero. I was tested and I also carry the CF gene(I am the eldest one of four, two of my brothers were fine and my middle brother and I carry the gene) so we thought it wise after consulting with our FS to swap donors to someone who was also screened for the CF gene.
our first donor matched more closely with DH charateristics but the risks of having a child with CF were just to great to risk it, so consequently DD is a blue eyed blonde and doesn't really match either of us for these traits but it is amazing how many people still say that she looks nothing like me and is the spitting image of her Daddy PMSL (he gets quite chuffed at this and always looks at me with laughter in his eyes at such comments) It really is weird how people continue to say this.
back to the nurture verses nature debate coincidence or not but DD has got DH's temperament and lots of similar personality traits, she is such a mimicker.

[Suze_77]

Hey There!

Haven't been "in" in a while, but have enjoyed the steady flow of chatter. As wonderfully supportive family and friends are - it is nice to know that there are other people out there who actually have a CLUE what it's like to walk in your shoes...

Husband and I have tried IUI (but I much prefer to call it turkey basting) twice now with donor sperm from Xytex. We've got four lots left before we have to "go back to the shop and buy some more".

Millie - we go through Qld Fertility Group...they use Xytex. When we started looking, they directed us to their Brisbane office who gave us their list of 10 donors that they have on the shelves ready to go. They told us that if there is nothing in their current stock that doesn't suit us then we can have a look at their website and find something there - maybe they could order that one in in their next shipment - which would mean about a 3 month wait. Luckily for us we found one that suited us - we didn't need to go to the website.

We're in a bit of a quandry as to decide at what stage we stop with trying with IUI and go IVF. While IUI is much less invasive, less messing around with horemones, 'harvesting' ect...the specialist says that the ods of conception are much greater with IVF....I think we're going to give IUI one last go then maybe have a look at IVF...

The SBS show was good wasn't it? I had a girlfriend send me a txt in canberra saying that she had just finished watching it and thought of us and was sending us her love. It was really sweet...handy too - because of time difference we switched it over and started watching! Have to remember it's on next week.

As far as the nature-v-nurture thing goes...it will continue to go on to the end of time. of course there are pros and cons with both. The way my husband and i look at it (Husb has no sperm from heavy chemo in his late teens - before they knew about freezing sperm) - we were originally looking at adopting anyway...this way, we're just adopting half of the ingredients to make a child. There will be no doubt he will be the DAD.

Another thing that I suppose has made it 'easier' for us too - my husband has an older brother who is adopted. He grew up knowing that his older brother is adopted - but it made no difference to him or the rest of his family...he was still his brother.

I think at the end of the day it's all about open communication. If you gradually let your child know how special they are (and at what lengths we went through to have them!) then it's all ok.

After our last two IUI attempts before christmas - we're having a couple of months off (they shut down over Christmas anyway). I'm using this time to crack down and lose a couple of kilos before we go at it again.

I wish you all the best in your neck of the woods and hope your dreams come true.

Cheers,
Susan.

[blizz]

hello ????? anybody here ??????, where has everybody got to????? didn't get lost between the old thread and the new thread did you???? how is everybody going? sorry I'm a bit chatty after having a week with a crashed computer.

[Millie08]

Hi Blizz

Thanks for your info.. sorry for the delay in responding.. have had a busy weekend! I love how people say that your DD looks like her daddy.. I bet hearing comments like that make everything you have gone through worthwhile.. and makes your DH feel amazing!! I can only hope that we will get lot of comments like that...

As for the nuture v nature debate.. we're not parents yet, but we do have lots of nephews, nieces and godkids and spend lots of time with them.. and believe from the bottom of my heart that kids learn everything from their parents. My DH is worried though cause he is so passionate and has some really strong charateristics which we would really love (good and bad!!) to see in our children. So do you think is it only the physical aspects that are passed on through DS?? and then their personality traits through parenting, development and environmental influences??

By they way Blizz, I just checked out the pics of your DD.. she is too cute!!

x

[blizz]

It's hard to know but Paige shows a lot of my personality traits (including a nasty little temper when tired or sleep deprived) but DH's family are a very passionate and hands on family and I see these characteristics developing in her also, full time day care also helps develop her confidence and independence much more than I was at her age my mum was a stay at home mum and we lived out of the main town area so I really only interacted with my 3 brothers (it suprises me that Paige is a girly, girl as I was more of a tomboy) when I can manage to post another picture I'll try to upload one of my baby photos for comparrison. We are starting to get the, "where did she get the blonde hair/blue eyes" question occaisionally so far a simple oh that comes from her grandparent seems to work as none of my grandparents are living people don't seem to take it past here LOL I don't really care what anyone else thinks anyway, She definately acts like she belongs in our families

[Caramello]

Helllloooo Blizzz!!!

hee, hee - I'm glad you've got your computer back!

Also had a very busy weekend, in between stressing about this appointment tomorrow and trying to forget about it by doing too much (please see my blog for more details! )

I think the plan for changing sleeping patterns is not going to work terribly well as I'm wide awake when I should be sleepy. Hopefully I can change that this week...

[blizz]

sorry to pester you girls the days have been busy but the nights are a little lonely still adjusting to DH's shift work , he'll be home tuesday arvo yay!!!!

[Caramello]

You're not pestering Blizz - it DOES get quiet around here every now and again...

What type of shift work does DH do (just generally...)

[blizz]

he works 5 days on four days off then 5 nights on six days off, he is on his fourth night tonight he works 6pm-6am for nights (don't get to talk to him much cause of my work hours) then 6am-6pm for day shift. I think I notice it more when he works through a weekend his last job was Mon-Fri normal working hours huge adjustment for us but he's nearly home.
I'm not sure if I mentioned but he drives an articulated dump truck in an underground mine(big change from servicing portable fire equipment)

[Caramello]

Must be hard, particularly if your work hours clash.

My DH is in the public service, so normal hours really.

My dad used to do shift work, I don't know how mum used to manage...

[blizz]

we've told ourselves it's not forever, the money's good but money isn't everything but we are going to consolidate things then I'll be able to cut back my hours and work from home so we'll have more chances of spending time together.
DH just needed to get out of his last job, wasn't going anywhere, he is happy to do the mining game for a while but it was never a forever plan, He is still considering options but at least he is in a well paying job in the interum.
we decided last time we talked that we are going to set times were we just get away even if it is just for a weekend, hence the reason we are going to Melbourne we have been offered my Aunts apartment in Port melbourne to stay at for a week this may mean the difference between staying for one or two weeks, I'm really excited.
we have been finding that if we stay at home our time just gets eaten up by routine tasks.
We are almost tie free here, we are in the final stages of settling DH's mums estate, her house goes to auction on the 9th of next month (this has been a stressfull time for us) it is now our time!!!!, we haven't seen much of Tassie (bit sad when we live in such a beautiful state) so we will just point to somewhere on the map and go there, should be fun.
We haven't been camping since DD was born so a few camping trips are definatley on the cards (though I'm a bit of a woose now and am angling towards a caravan rather than our tent)

[Caramello]

Sounds like a good plan.

Port Melbourne sounds gorgeous!

I think DH feels a little ripped off that the holiday has been spent trying to get boxes unpacked and the house in order - next time we will plan 'us time'.

That was supposed to be today but it was SO hot here (well not as hot as Perth or Adelaide, but hot enought) that we didn't end up doing anything much. Might see if I can organise something for next weekend...

[blizz]

sounds good, you go for it! what am I doing? I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning, I'll say goodnight now thanks heaps Gargy for answering my call, I feel better for the chat, the dogs glad I've stopped talking to him for a while I think he thought I was loosing it, he kept looking at me oddly as if to say ' I've heard it before mum give me a break I'm trying to sleep.LOL
talk to you soon,
I start my fitness campaign starting tomorrow, cruskits for lunch(ohhhh yuck) and a power walk at lunch time and as much water as my co-workers can cope with(too much and I keep disappearing to the little girls room)

[Caramello]

Hey Blizz,

Great to chat with you too!!

Hey everyone,

Well, I went to the clinic this morning, gave 3 vials of blood, and picked up the puregon. I start the injections tonight. So now I have officially started another round of IUIs and hoping like crazy that this works!

Slightly concerned that our SD's blood results are not in my file. I've emailed him to make sure everything is ok (why is this my job and not the clinics!!)

So let the crankiness and tears begin!

I'm going ok with my challenge to stay awake - I've been up since 5.50am and haven't succumbed yet, although my body REALLY wants to go to sleep. I'm going to the movies this afternoon to see Enchanted (yes I know it's a kids movie but I want to see it anyway). I'm also going so I stay awake...

[Millie08]

I have everything crossed for you Gargy.. let's hope this is the one!!!

I'm not sure of the procedure, so what happens now for you?? Who does your injections??

Enjoy the movie.. I'd love to see that movie.. but no one will come with me!! Might have to wait until it comes out on DVD..