Donor Conception General Chatter #4

[blizz]

yay Gargy off and running,
good luck with everything! who's doing your injections for you? I was a big sook and I got DH to do the triggers and my SIL to do the injections I kept panicking when DH tried to give them to me LOL I'd keep saying "is that an air bubble? I can see an air bubble" he hated me I'd flinch every time so he wouldn't do it for me any more,( I don't even know if bubbles in injections are bad I think I watch too much ER and All Saints, I have trouble seeing my tummy past my (huge get in the way of everything) Boobs makes it hard to do it myself, don't laugh it's true, Their days are numbered though... after I have another baby I'm getting a reduction done. Sorry Millie I just read your post and realised I'm asking your questions LOL, let me know what you thought of the movie I wouldn't mind seeing it either (just a big kid at heart) Millie do what I do and go by yourself!!! DH won't do these sort of movies(won't do chick flicks either).

[Millie08]

My DH can't even watch RPA (and doesn't even like going into hospitals) .. so I have no chance of getting him to do the injections!!

My girlfriend is about to celebrate the anniversary of having her boob reduction .. she was a new woman after having them done!! They look awesome!!

[Caramello]

Hi Millie and Blizz,

I have to do an injection of puregon a night, but it's a pen needle and its not too bad. I generally do that one myself.

The trigger shot is a bit more scary and it has to be timed specifically by the clinic. So the clinic lets you know when to do it and you do it. DH did it the first time around and I did it the second time (mainly because I had to do it at school - in the staff toilet of all places - very hygienic!) The needle looks like the needle they take blood with and its bigger than the pen. Very scary but you hold your breath and just do it.

Didn't have a great afternoon. Very tired and emotional at the shopping centre - got stuck next to a woman with a very active baby. They were playing together and it made me feel very awkward and miserable. I think my vibe disturbed them because they left reasonably quickly.

The movie was good but I was almost in tears when they got to the section when the man started singing to the woman as they were dancing. It reminded me of DH and I when we first starting going out together and he used to sing to me like this. Then I thought how simple things were then in comparison to how complicated they were now. I stopped myself from crying as I was there by myself, but I felt very down at that point.

I'm also worried about the car as its using a lot of oil. Hopefully there was no long term damage - I couldn't get the oil cap off until the engine cooled and the oil was down to nothing.

I'm also bleeding quite heavily and AF won't stop now as it usually would today as I won't take the Pill again. So I'm wondering if that is adding to my sad mood. That and being tired, I still haven't slept and I was up until 2am last night.

The weirdest thing is that I'm in this mood and I HAVEN'T taken the shots yet. Can't imagine what it will be like when I do!!

[blizz]

honey I think it's a combination of this whole Bl@@dy time of year, how sweet that your DH used to sing for you, my DH and I met doing an amateur musical, but he still hasn't sung just for me.
I know the down feeling though, this week speaking to DH on the phone I feel so distant from him I've always felt kind of involved in his last job as he used to talk to me about it after work but lately our conversations have been a little lack luster on the phone, he usually calls me just as he is getting ready for work and is really distracted, and I'm usually tired and over sensitive due to having worked all through the day and dealing with DD who decides that the best time to read a book is when I'm talking to DH on the phone so I'm dodging books that are being thrown at me!!!
AF always make me feel morbid and crappy, lets hope theres an end to it soon and things will brighten up for you.
I find it hard to even think of a time before IVF at this point it all seems so long ago and we are so not the same people who started our relationship 10 years ago.
I do remember that feeling as well when you see families and think why can't it be me, it shouldn't be this hard, But one thing I've learnt is to never take things for granted especially DD.
I have a really good feeling for you girls I truely believe it is going to happen soon for you you'll have your own little bundles and that 2am thing will become a regular part of your night and you'll be way to busy to post your new mates in the DCSthread

[Caramello]

DH does sing, but it's usually for an audience LOL. He's a bass player - however not gigging at the moment.

When we were younger he would just sing to me softly the lyrics of the music that was playing, particularly if it was our song, as we danced close. A much younger, more innocent time.

I think that you've hit it on the head about timing. This time, two years ago exactly, we were doing this exact same thing with an unknown donor. And here we are again, two years later, doing it all over again.

Now my logical brain says 'but yes, see how much you've grown and things have changed'. But the emotional side says 'if it had worked, we would have a three month old child by now.' I suppose the emotional side has a right to be heard every now and again.

I understand what you are saying about distance. I worry every now and again that DH and I spend too much time talking to other people, particularly online, rather than with each other. However going out for walks almost every night has changed this dynamic (wussing out on walking tonight due to the rain and me feeling blah).

I love talking to people on BB!! . I've learnt so much and felt very supported by the people here. And I liked chatting with you on the weekend. Hopefully that will not change

[blizz]

I totally agree with you BB has been my life line lately, I really feel stuck and lonely when DH is away, you may have noticed that I tend to dissappear myself when DH returns home. Same deal I think we need to spend that time together and I have my BB friends to help me through the lonely nights and weeks when he is away working . I am hoping that DH will feel inspired to walk with me of an evening when he is home, I'll save my lunch time walks for when he is working.
I think BB is great because we can all get where each other are comming from even though every story is different we have still all had, or are having similar hardships.
This will sound silly but I'm glad in a way that I did freak out when I M/C otherwise I wouldn't have found BB at all (what a scary thought)
and it really did help to chat on the weekend, I was doing the I'm so lonely thing and the company was really nice.You can't get rid of me now!!!!
promise me you'll go to bed before 2am tonight LOL, I'm going to have to hit the hay shortly I am starting at 6:30am for the next two weeks and I had forgotten how hard it is to get going in the mornings when you've been up to midnight posting!!!at least I get to finish at 3:15 which makes a nice change.
talk to you soon you human pin cushion you!!! good luck with the injections and come here to off load when you find it getting to you, I'll keep checking this thread at leastAllie xxxx

[Caramello]

Hi Allie (Blizz)

Going to bed NOW! (I may read for a bit, but not until 2am!)

Goodnight - talk soon

Gargy aka Carmel

[Lissie]

HI Girls,

Gargy - hope you are feeling better - i know whenever i do the injection thing i am an emotional mess, i get very teary very easily you only have to look at me sideways and i start to cry! I don't think anyone really understands unless they have been thru it - but we are all here and we know how you feel. So what date is the IUI??

Do you know is that show on SBS again tonight? I'm pretty sure it is but do not have a TV guide handy
i'm sure one of you lovely girls posted the times and dates and from memory i think it is tonight.

[blizz]

definately tonight and I am going to tape it this time. Hope you got a good night sleep Carmel, I am sooooo remembering how much of a morning person I am not!!!!!!LOL i am remembering how hard it is to get kick started in the morning (feel terrible pulling Paige out of bed at 6:15am she was so grumpy this morning...don't know where she gets that from?)
DH will be home at 3 today yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay so I will catch you lovely ladies soon

[blizz]

sorry Lissie I forgot to mention it is on 7:30 SBS tonight, about DS should be interesting

[Millie08]

not long to go now Allie - you're an hour ahead down there, so he's almost home!! so no posting from you tonight ... you will be busy catching up with your DH!!

Carmel, how are you feeling today?? A little better I hope.

As for BB - for me (and also for my DH who I tell your stories to), it was such a relief to find people who are in the same situation as us and who know exactly how we are feeling, without having to explain it!! It's still fairly fresh for us, but being on this BB thread reminds us that we aren't the odd ones out.. and not the only ones who are going through this. So heres cheers to us.... and our strong fight to become mummies & daddies!!!

xx

[Caramello]

Hi everyone,

Much better day today. I'm feeling very sleepy as I'm still not sleeping properly, waking up every hour or so, but at least I started sleeping at 11pm rather than 2am. I got up with DH at 6am, and have been trying not to sleep all day (ie no naps). Hopefully I'll be so tired tonight I will sleep right through.

I also went and saw another movie. This time it was 27 Dresses. I know, I know, very soppy, but two important messages from it (and hopefully this won't spoil it for anyone - it's fairly vague unless you see it anyway). The first is that you can't live your life continually suppressing your emotions to please others. Secondly, when you say 'No' to people you are actually living your own life, not someone else's definition of what your life should be.

This made me feel a lot stronger in myself. Funny how something like a movie can still be inspirational in your own life.

Anyway, must dash, DH has brought me icecream...

[Lissie]

Icecream - yummyyyyyyy - what flavor? i guess it doesn't matter as long as its icecream right!
Hope you sleep well tonight Gargy - take care.

[Caramello]

Mmm, icecream - Maccona Coffee and French Vanilla flavoured ice cream (left overs from last weekend's dinner) with waffles. I used it as a reward after doing the injection. Funnily enough, I'm having a bit of difficulty stabbing myself this time, didn't really worry me last time. (Then again I bruised myself last night - maybe I'm a bit scared of myself LOL).

Blood test is next Saturday. Not sure when IUI will be, mainly because of PCOS. From what I remember it went from nothing, nothing, nothing to all of a sudden follicle, take the trigger and get in here quick! (Ok, maybe I'm slightly exaggerating!)

Lissie, I also remember swinging from crying to increased anger due to the hormones. What worried me yesterday was that I hadn't even started injecting yet!! However my BF pointed out that any medical situation is stressful, let alone something as emotionally involved as this.

Blizz, I am definitely NOT a morning person. If my body had its way I would stay up really late and sleep in. Not really functional for work though.

Bye Blizz (for now) - hope you and DH have fun catching up! Hope to hear from you soon!

Millie, as I said on a previous post, I'm so glad that I found BB, and that Kelly and the mods set up this particular thread. It's good to know that there are others in the same position.

Might go post to my blog - I've given myself a curfew of 10pm, so the entry may have to wait - see how I go.

Night all!!

[Caramello]

Just found out via email that our SD hasn't done the blood test yet (he's been very ill)...no idea what this means in terms of current IUI - why the hell didn't the clinic check before allowing me to go ahead? Grrr..I don't even know whether I tell them or just check with our SD to make sure he does it before the IUI goes ahead...

[Lissie]

girls,

Anyone watch the show last night on SBS?? Really informative - basically showed the donor children and how they are with knowing or not knowing about donor issue. Its basically re-inforced DH and mine thoughts about being 110%honest should a child arise out of our situation. Very comforing to also find that these kids did feel that the people that raised them where their parents but naturally curious as to who the donors are. Sad that the older ones who cannot obtain information about their donors are left in the dark and so desperately want to know. Parts of the show mad me cry but thats not hard as i am a big softie but mostly because these people that donate are just truly wonderful people such selfless people to share and want to help.

[Malyna]

I did manage to see the SBS show. It was really very interesting. I was crying too in parts. It was wonderful. the mobile phone reminder worked.

haven't been around as we are getting our bathroom renovated. They removed the asbestos lining on Monday. the tradies came around yesterday to start and are back again today. I've been up since 4.30am to take the DH to the airport (again!). I know the way to the airport in my sleep!

Re injections. DH had dialysis for 8 years and always takes his own blood (freaks me out).. so I'd get him to do the injections. I used to be one of those kids sitting 2mm away from a needle but as an adult I've become a woose (sp?)(although I am getting better).

I think DH might be staying around his mums place after the procedure. The bathroom which was to take a week will now be two weeks and I'm sure he won't feel like putting up with banging and clattering while he is trying to recover.

Sorry for not doing personals, I'm tired and ratty at the mo.. Does anyone have a magic bathroom wand they would like to lend me?

[blizz]

Hi Tarkine I'd love to lend you a bathroom wand if I had one, we are contemplating more rennos and going up stairs really scary, having plans drawn up at the moment not totally sure about it yet it's a big step