Thanks for your replies. We had a bit of a chat this morning and I outlined what he's been doing here, and apparently he's not doing it there at all. She said it's hard when your child treats you badly such and such does this and this to me, and she didn't really make the connection. We will have to talk to the FDC provider about getting someone new, but I feel awful that the carer will feel I'm criticising her parenting. Argh!!