I've always felt lost, so I compensated for it by trying to be be something different for each person I am talking to at the time. Like being a good daughter when talking to my mum, a good wife when talking to my hubby, a success when talking to school friends, being cool when talking to work mates.

I found I was constantly changing my personality and as such had no self. It was very distressing when I realised I was 30 and had no hobbies of my own, I just followed other peoples' hobbies but got bored of them quickly. I didn't know how to relax and have fun cause I had never let myself do what 'I' wanted to do.

So I have been really soul searching in the last year and have found my hobby - I love sewing and it calms and relaxes me and makes me very happy. I have found as a consequence of that I don't have to try to 'be' anything other than myself with other people. I am proud of myself for just being me not for anything I am trying to do or be for other people. So I am just starting to find myself, but I know it is a long journey as I will change as time goes on.

DH and I have realised that as we change so does our relationship... its kind of like falling in love with a new person every now and then