When we moved here, I had no langauge, no friends and my DH went into his cave and wouldnt come out. I had to battle everyday with my MIL just to do simple things like washing our clothes my way, thenI was put into bed rest (preg) and DS1 was taken during the day. When the new baby came, I had to battle to do things my way. But I also had to question my perspective on things- what was important and what wasnt, I had to let go of what wasnt. It was 2 years before we moved out.
When I had nothing, I had to strip away my ego and any false idea I had of myself and I learnt alot about me and my ego. Now we are in our own (rented) place and I can give myself what I need and because of that I can be a better partner and mother -most of the time
Its hard to be honest with yourself, and to forgive yourself for you mistakes in life. I couldnt tell you who I am but I know myself alot better and Im more comfortable with myself now.
I try to meditate, as often as I remember for as long as I can, and I find making that space, clearing out some of the endless thoughts, somehow makes me better, stronger in myself.
Its a long hard road to self knowledge.
My goal is just to be the best person I can be, to know my ego and to know when to tell it to bug off and to listen to the something else thats there.