Inanna, in your posts you have spoken deeply to my soul.
I desparately wanted choice with the birthing place for my daughter and unfortunately home birth was out of the question.
I "see" things and I knew deep in my heart how spiritual the birthing process would be and how I needed to have things I felt right about. I believe that due to having my choice of place of birth taken from me my body delayed labour and I caused the death of my daughter. I tried and tried to make alternative arrangements for my daughters birth place and nothing I could do or say swayed the "system". For this reason my birth plan seemed pointless to me.
I was never afraid of birthing my child. I was afraid of birthing my child at the hospital that had treated me soooo poorly in the past on several occasions.
Choice was removed from me and deep in me I knew there would be a poor outcome. By being referred to the FMU I even had "shared care" with my GP taken away from me.
Pregnant women are considered by many to be "emotional and overly demanding" due to this label the choices they ask for are not taken seriously. Due to the fact I was teary because I "saw" a poor outcome in the birth place I was forced to use I was ignored.
If I had come across as in control, stable and unemotional perhaps I would have been listened to and my choices heard........this did not occur.
While I was in labor my room was invaded by two mental health workers. I asked for them NOT to come into the room and they did anyway. I was coming to terms with birthing a dead baby and having contractions and they did not recognise the very private spiritual journey I was taking with my daughter. Again even my choice of who should be present at this important time of our lives was not honoured by our archaic and paternalistic system.
Women DO know what is best for them. They become very in touch with their bodies when pregnant and they do know a lot about outcomes for themselves and their children. Choice about how they are treated is essential. I believe the fact choice was taklen from me was a contributing factor in the stillbirth of my precious daughter.