Honestly....

Without knowing all the details, this really sounds like 'your' problem, not your brothers. I am not saying this to be mean or judgemental. However, the problem seems to be how 'you' feel about him. You were obviously expecting certain actions and reactions from you brother in the past, and he has failed to live up to these expectations (rightly or wrongly is irrelevant). Now I am unsure just what exactly you were expecting from him, but you obviously never got it from him and now you are hurt upset and angry that he didn't do what you thought he should have done - (or dare I suggest???) that he didn't suffer as you did???

The only way that you are going to be able to move on from this is to make a decision to do so and accept that what has happened has happened and nothing is going to change that. Your brother is your brother, he is who he is. And if he doesn't 'get' the problem or believe he acted in any wrong fashion, then you have to accept that this is his truth and it is unlikely to change. You cannot change anothers behaviours or thoughts. It is as simple as that. And once you accept that, whilst you may not exactly be happy with it, you will be at peace with it.

And if I am being completely honest, it sounds as if you don't WANT to move on from this issue. You don't want a resolution, or to forgive, you want to hold onto this grudge and feel justified for being petty.

Then again I could just be leaping to conclusions based on the very limited information available to me....