there is so much more to you than your children Maz - yes, they are a huge and important part of your life - but they are not everything. you have a successful business that you can pick up and expand if you want. even if you choose not to stick with just the MCN covers, you obviously have a talent there that you've barely scratched the surface of. you've got business skills that you didn't have before. you have a lot on your side

yes, when M starts kinder/school, you'll feel a little lost without a child to run after - but you are a strong and innovative person - you will find ways to fill your time that is to the benefit of you and your family. your family will always be your priority - it's in your nature to nurture - but you have skills and motivatioin - you just have to work out, when the time comes, what you want to do with those. it will take a while to get a hang of the "new" time without kidlets - but you'll make more of that time than you think. at the moment, you have to fit your hobby/business in around your kids and late at night - when they're all off during the day, you'll have your days to do things, and your time with your kids will be fruitful. your nights will be yours - to work if you want, spend time with DH (if you want lol).

hugs hun - i can only imagine how this must feel - after only months i'm thinking the same kinds of things - 9 years would make it seem a huge and almost insurmountable hurdle

BG