I was at home with the kids for 10 years before I had a job. For me, working outside the house was what helped me become 'me' again - I got to see & speak to adults (!) who related to me as 'Jas' not just as 'Mum' or as '___'s mum'.
Not that you have to work outside of home, I think anything outside of home & away from the kids - a hobby group, a course, work - will do it.
From what I have read of your posts Maz, you're a pretty strong person & it might be a hurdle but one you will clear no worries
Mrsmac it's not all for nothing you have 4 gorgeous kids who love you. I said I had to have 4 so one of them at least would look after me when I 'm old so that's not pointless, is it?
I am nervous like you about what is after being a SAHM. I just look at my mother who went back and did some year 12 units after eaving school in year 9 and is now doing a carer's certificate. It might not sound like much but because she is majorly dyslexic she has been told most of her life she is stupid! I am so proud of her and I hope after my children go to school i can go to university.
Oh Maz, what you are going through is what we all go through I reckon. I cant imagine how daunting it would be after 4 kidlets at home, but I know after 1` kid at home I felt like, well he is 3 now, kindy next year, then school, who the hell am i and what am i gonna do, I am redundant!
It has taken all of this year to start finding myself again, working out who I am apart from a mum and a wife, I thought I'd never work myself out, but here I am loving life atm discovering new things about myself now that I have time for myself. I hae decided to do a BA at Open Uni and do it all at my own pace over the next few years, and I'll volunteer at DS school and kindy and sports, i think that shall kep me busy for at least the next 5 years. It feels good to have some sort of a plan for the next few years.
You have a great business to keep you busy only now you can work during school hours and have the nights for leisure, whether it reading a book or doing a course, whatever you enjoy.
Your kids will always need you hun, you will never be redundant, you will always be needed for something. My mum has us 4 girls, I am 26 and my youngest sister is 17, we all still need her all the time, and she has 3 grandsons who always want a share of her time too, she is just as busy as when we were kidlets, if not busier!
I think we all get nervous about what happens after the SAHM life. But as BG has already said. There is so much more to you than being a mum, maz. You have an amazing talent with your MCNs. Although I am not a MCN user, I can still appreciate good talent kwim. You may find when your children are in school that, that will be your 'time to shine' kwim? You can do anything you want to, because for the past however many years you've been a mum & a wife and your life has revolved around making your family happy. But what about maz? What is it that makes you happy? I guess that's what you have to find out. I know it's a bit daunting. I already think about it and Ava is only 18 months old lol. babe. I have said it before and i'll say it again, you are a fantastic mother! And I only wish I had at least 1/2 the patience and grace that you do with your children (whether you actually believe that or not lol ) and I am sure no matter what you do you will shine ! xox
Ithink thats the problem....i feel like im only know as mum and as you said BG I am more then that.
Ive decided that I might start doing the gym then...get back into sport. God how I loved to run when I was younger..its good for the soul.
What a bloody good idea...sorry brain wave has just hit me (thanks so much girls). I might go back to tafe and get a certificate in dressmkaing or something along those lines. I did one or 2 glasses of sewing at school then dad made me do wood work and boy themed classes. I love sewing and would love to know so much more.
First step...finding my love of things again..and becoming Maz again
A lot of my friends have older kids and they seem to be finding themselves again, and I feel left behind, but life after being a SAMH is very scary..particulary knowing that I have no great passion, qualifications or talent. Geez I sound useless lol
Maz - yep, its all about finding our passions again (other than children)
Bekz - thats what worried me, i dont know what I want to be when I grow up yet, I dont have any huge passions other than my DS, I dont really have a social life... but I am slowly gaining a social life (very slowly LOL) and have discovered a few good passions. Still dont know what Iwant to be when I grow up though, dont think I ever really will. All I ever wanted was to have a family of my own, I have done that now.....what next
it's not all for nothing you have 4 gorgeous kids who love you. I said I had to have 4 so one of them at least would look after me when I 'm old
so that's not pointless, is it?
Reply With Quote
Ithink thats the problem....i feel like im only know as mum and as you said BG I am more then that.
Bookmarks