Congrats on taking responsibility for your feelings and actions But, I felt the same as Astrid and Traveller about your second paragraph. I think sending the email as it is would push her further away. TBH, it feels like there's still passive aggression hidden in there which I think you need to weed out. Maybe you can start by thinking about what is the objective of your second paragraph is? If it's to convince her to commit more time to the friendship, then I don't think the words or the tone you've used will help achieve that.

If you really do want to rekindle the friendship, instead of asking her to upend her family's routine, why don't you ask if there's a way you can schedule some catch ups that fit within her routine (like playdates)? Because you've assumed that it would be easy for her to get her kids to sleep at someone else's house, it sounds like your DD must able to do this with no hassles, so maybe catch ups at her house where her kids are in their comfort zone and have their own beds to go to at nap/bed time would work better? We do this with friends whose children need to stick to the routine and sleep in their own beds, it works quite well for all of us.