Winter, I just wanted to explain a bit more about what I meant particularly as I know you've read my other thread about dealing with DP's ex-wife.

I guess my first response (after being angry with her) was to try to understand her. I put out the olive branch and gave her lots of opportunities to offer some explanation for her actions.

That didn't work.

So I guess I've now come to the conclusion that she has lost her daughter and she is totally unwilling to acknowledge that she has made mistakes. In my book, that makes her a pretty unevolved person and I think her life is worse for it. It takes a strong and courageous person to recognise that they've made mistakes but ultimately it makes them and their relationships happier.

So after trying to understand her, now I feel sorry for her and I no longer want to 'fix' her. I've tried every which way and nothing works so now I just feel sorry for her because that is better for me than feeling angry with her.