I really struggled with the lack of feedback about my progress/acheivements when I stopped work to have DD1. This probably says way too much about me BUT I had to work hard to get to a place where I felt there were positive acheivements in my day. There were a few parts to this - to stop beating myself up about the things that went less to plan and really making an effort to celebrate the successes we had. I tried to challenge the negative thoughts I had and replace them with good ones too. Corny maybe but it really rewired my thinking after a period of time I forgot to get to the less happy ideas.
I also had to start to carve out some time/space for me (sounds impossible with any small children, lol). So finding something I had let go and taking it back for myself, reading and walking regularly were what I scrounged back. Like Lulu said I also made some things not negotiable that I had previously dismissed as not important - making an effort to get out of my trackies and in nicer clothes and getting my hair cut more regularly - before I went back to work I did the cheapo haircut joint and a supermarket hairdye - and I felt much better. Sounds quite shallow perhaps but I began to value myself more - I was putting in the hard yards with everyone else yet not bothering with myself.
As for tricky family stuff - well I have tried to invest more in the family support I do have and the lovely friends who are there for me no matter what. It has helped me make peace with the angst and see it as their loss rather than mine.
xxxxxx