Passive Aggression... Why?

[Astrid]

Actually reading some of this I realise that DH responds to PA better than a clear statement. When we first met he had a couple of stupid jokes he liked to play, the must have been his standard ones from his backpacking days. His past "relationships" were very short due to the nature of backpacking, so he would have been able to trot out these jokes and they would always be new. I just did not find them funny at all. One was pretending to have lost his keys, which is a real fear of mine and gets me into a right panic. The other is lifting up the back of my top in public and flicking my bra to the point of breaking.

With both these I was clear and controlled when I told him "I do not like, please do not do it again" I of course included the reasons why, genuine fear, humiliating, damaging expensive bras. He just would not stop, often claiming that he did not remember having done them before Talking did not stop him, yelling did not stop him. The only thing that did was being PA. With one I stood outside my own flat in the dark and rain to prove the point I was not happy, the other time I would not walk on the same side of the road as him.

Very frustrating that I had to resort to sulking and crap my mother would pull to get him to listen.

ETA: Tash - I do find it very chilling to think that SF was sociopathic. Hmmm he has never really come up in any counselling sessions I have had. Maybe I should have spoken about him more.
How do I get DH to be an adult? Funny that he is being the parent, I often see him as the child.