Regrets

[Beach Mama]

I try not to dwell on them but sometimes they do pop up and I don't like the fact that I hurt some people along the way and can't take back that hurt. When mine pop up I ask myself why it is that I am dwelling on some major ones at that time, usually something has happened to stir things up and brought them to the forefront again. Is there something that is bringing up these feelings for you now?? Maybe look at why and why now as you deal with them. xoxo It's not nice at all and can be really difficult but I try to live for now. Not the past and not always the future either because you don't know what will happen in the next 5 mins sometimes but for now and what you can focus on in the present.

[Rach75]

the one regret I have is not taking picture of my darling daughter when she was born at the time it seemed right but as the years go on and people start to forget or only focus on my living children I regret I dont have her picture hangning on my wall its in my heart its in my head I can close my eyes and still see and remember her smell and how soft her skin was, but nobody else can see what I see and till the day I die and rejoin my beautiful baby I will regret the decision we made 7 years ago

[Indadhanu]

I posted about regrets in another thread. Have on let me find it...

We make the decisions that are best for us at that point in time, and whether someone else doesn't like it, or we come to not like the decision we made, the fact is that we made that decision. It was the choice that we made, the best one for us at the time. It was what we thought was right. A

nd always remembering that hindsight is wonderful, but you never have hindsight until you make the deicison. You can't look back until you make decisions and move forward. It's scary and new and uncertain when you are looking forward into new terrain, but it's never as scary, never as daughting, and always a lot clearer when you look back. You look back and you can see all the paths you could have taken. But looking forward, you're always trying to just get through it, you don't always look for alternative routes. You're just trying to get through it.

Anyway, that probably went way off topic but sometimes I'd like to post that. On many threads, to many people, I'd like to post that. In fact, I'd like to print it and stick it on my wall so I can remember it more often than I do! We make the choices, and whether we think someone thinks its wrong, or we ourselves come to a point where we think it's wrong or not the best choice, we made that chocie. No use letting someone else's words make us feel bad, because at the end of the day it was US. It was OUR choices, that we thought was right.

That's how I work through 'regrets'. Remembering that at the time I amde a decision, and whether or not it ended up being the best decision, I made it because it was the decision I felt was right for me at the time.

Plus, you can't say you would go back and do it differently because you wouldn't have the knowledge you have now. You would still do the same thing, because you'd be in the same place with the same knowledge and priorities. The decisions we are making RIGHT NOW could one day be a 'regret', but right now would you see it that way? No. Because you're making the decision based on RIGHT NOW, not from a point in the future after you've already made the decision.

[Catastrophic]

I don't have regrets - I have 'hindsight' ... I would sooo do things differently if i had the hindsight there first! But if i do stuff up (HAVE DONE THAT ALOT) i don't regret - obviously i thought that was the best thing to do at the time, and i stand by that...

[Malyna]

I got rid of my regrets a long time ago. Regrets keep you tied to your past, which makes it hard to live in the present. I woke up one day and decided I was tired of having them on a chain around my neck, weighing me down - so I threw them all out - well I wrote them down on a piece of paper and burnt them in the kitchen sink!

[littlemissmountain]

I am naturally my own worst critic.
So when it comes to regrets, I always try to remind myself, that just like everyone else, in that moment I was doing the best I could with what I had.

Knowing I won't have my time again... I try to be kind to myself and trust that every tough lesson I have learned is part of a perfect formulation that helps me to be me.

The feelings that come with a memory of regret also often include other people and their judgement. As far as that goes: those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

[Nelle]

I have stacks of regrets! DH asks me whether I'd change stuff though, and generally the answer is no. (Or yes, with lots of conditions, like that the future has to be exactly the same, but then it gets too confusing and I end up saying no.)
I love that from my mistakes I've learned lessons, had opportunities to change and grow, to deepen relationships, and lots more - but I still do regret every time I don't do what I know to be right or wise.
I don't think it's bad to acknowledge that, and I don't want to forget that regret entirely (although unhelpful dwelling is a different thing) - because remembering the past will help me to do better in my future. If I don't remember 'remember the time you made that mistake and how much you regret that' then I could easily make it again.