thats so true amber j, thats what i was trying to get at before, that im just starting to see the child in my mum, im just starting to see that she wasnt the perfect, 100% correct all powerful person that she projected, that that was just a stance taken to get her through, maybe if she had sat down with me and realised that i understood a bit. And said ''gee i really messed that one up'' I always felt like she was so much better than me and that my view was irrelevant!
A few times when ive been pushed and ive snapped at DD and upset her i always sit down and have a cuddle and say im sorry and that il try to do better next time, even though she is only 19 months, she gets it. im not perfect, i make mistakes but i take responsibility for those mistakes!
I know that she is her own indivdual person, with her own viewpoint and way of doing things, like Berenice said I think it doesn't matter how gentle and attentive you are as a parent, sometimes it's the child's own viewpoint that creates the baggage, you know? I think aslong as you respect that view point and dont try to squash it thats a good start!