I think that it is more than likely just because of your depression and life in general for you being pretty tough atm that you just don't have the inclination to make the effort kwim? no one could ever judge, or think badly of you because of that. I'm sure once you are stable and are on meds that you will want to be more involved in life again
I agree with Trill - and wanted to send you a hug!
is there anyone who could watch him for an hour or 2 so you can get out for a walk or coffee on your own?
One of the features of depression is that you tend to feel "bad" and down about yourself and what you're doing. The truth is we all have days where we find parenting more challenging, and don't have the energy to meet the demands. That you feel like this a lot of the time is a good sign that you need to do something about your depressive state.
The very best thing you can do is book an appt to see your GP, now. Ring and make the appt today. When you see your GP be sure to ask about what other services there are in your area - something like a post natal depression support group or counsellor or a community play group might be helpful, as well as the medications.
Big because it sounds like you're feeling terrible right now.
Thanks everyone. I will betrying to get to the Dr's tomorrow sometime... I have a BB friend dropping by tomorrow which I'm looking forward to, so maybe after her visit I will head on over to the Drs so I can start feeling better & getting some energy back!!!
Pre- unfortunately no I dont but I might take the kids for a walk later after DS wakes up & get some sun on our skin (if I can find the energy LOL)
That's great that you will get to the dr tomorrow - and i think MD's idea about some playgroups etc would be good too...
enjoy your walk - it will help for sure...
xxx
It's pretty tough the situation you are in atm, so please don't be harsh on yourself. You should feel proud as to how far you have gotten on your own.
Definitely is depression. But being on meds will not "cure" you. You don't have those really lull days as you are having now, your emotions will be numbed a little and you don't think about all the sh*t and cr*p in your head which was once there all the time.
Your energy levels will pickup, but honestly hun, you have been through so much lately that you need a holiday.
No mother wants to yell or harm their child in any shape or form. If things were hunky dory and you were in a healthy state of mind, would you do what you are doing now? I don't think so.
I honestly, truly wish i could help.
But yes, go the GP, seek medical help. Is there a casual day care centre near you, which might take DS say one day a week or half a day? It will give you a well deserved break.
There are way worse things people do to their children so try not to be too hard on yourself.
For sure there are definately days when I feel like I cant be bothered and I would love her to sleep longer(I have a cat-napper). I have found making plans for almost every day during the week has made a HUGE difference to my mental state not just as a mum but in general. Joining a mothers group, meeting girls off BB, and going for walks just getting out of the house so then Im not just doing the same boring stuff. Or even having people visit me, so even if Im at home 'doing the same boring stuff' at least there is company there(grown up company which is definately different!).
Dont know if any of this would be suitable but thought Id share.
I hope the support on BB helps and same with the Dr.
Big hugs***
I am in two minds about responding to this with 100% honesty, because I don't want people to tell me I have PND, but then I figure it may help you to know you are not alone.
I have told DD to shut up on more than one occasion. I have had urges to give her away, or hit her when I am angry (I have never actually done this!). Sometimes I have to put her down and punch a pillow and scream because I am so frustrated.
I think we all deal with sleep deprivation and challenging situations in different ways.
If you have actually been diagnosed with PND then perhaps a Dr would help, but I think some extent of exhaustion (which it sounds like you are) is normal as a mother, especially while parenting in this disconnected and isolated world!
I hope you find some support to help you through this. You are doing a fabulous job and don't ever second guess yourself. It is very tough to be a mum and we need all the love we can get. Sending you a hug!
I hope this helps a bit (and please no one judge me!).
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