Hey breeze

It's pretty tough the situation you are in atm, so please don't be harsh on yourself. You should feel proud as to how far you have gotten on your own.

Definitely is depression. But being on meds will not "cure" you. You don't have those really lull days as you are having now, your emotions will be numbed a little and you don't think about all the sh*t and cr*p in your head which was once there all the time.

Your energy levels will pickup, but honestly hun, you have been through so much lately that you need a holiday.

No mother wants to yell or harm their child in any shape or form. If things were hunky dory and you were in a healthy state of mind, would you do what you are doing now? I don't think so.

I honestly, truly wish i could help.

But yes, go the GP, seek medical help. Is there a casual day care centre near you, which might take DS say one day a week or half a day? It will give you a well deserved break.

Thinking of you..