There are way worse things people do to their children so try not to be too hard on yourself.
For sure there are definately days when I feel like I cant be bothered and I would love her to sleep longer(I have a cat-napper). I have found making plans for almost every day during the week has made a HUGE difference to my mental state not just as a mum but in general. Joining a mothers group, meeting girls off BB, and going for walks just getting out of the house so then Im not just doing the same boring stuff. Or even having people visit me, so even if Im at home 'doing the same boring stuff' at least there is company there(grown up company which is definately different!).
Dont know if any of this would be suitable but thought Id share.

I hope the support on BB helps and same with the Dr.
Big hugs***