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Thread: any single and pregnant mummies-to-be out there?

  1. #1
    Rosebud Guest

    Default any single and pregnant mummies-to-be out there?

    HI!
    would love to hear from you! 11 weeks pg with first child, conceived alone through artificial insemination with donor sperm.



    Thrilled to be pregnant at last and looking forward to making contact with any other single women who may have taken the plunge and decided to go it alone!

    Issue are obvioulsy so different for single women than those in couples so it would be great to have a place to swap storie etc.

    Jackie

  2. #2
    ange-par Guest

    Default

    Hi Jackie

    I'm a single mum, but not by choice. My ex partner left me when I was 8 weeks pregnant.

    It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I also have great support in my Mum. Without a partner helping you can't just duck to the shop when you need to, if bubby is sleeping. Going out in the evening is really hard if you want to keep a good routine, running to the MCHN, Dr's, Paeds & Specialists. The list just keeps on going and going.

    I guess you might think I am whinging or ungreatful, but Ella is the most important person in my life and nothing will ever change that. All the frustration and tiredness that I feel instantly disappears when she smiles, snuggles or says mum.

    Your life as you know it now, will never be the same when your little one comes into the world. Motherhood is the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world.

    If I could give you one piece of advise, it would be make sure you have a good support network. Sometimes you just need a break, even if it is only for 1 hour.

    Good luck on your impending birth

  3. #3
    kerry Guest

    Default

    Hi girls,

    28w pg here and single (sort of by choice) with number 1.

    I split with my partner at 14w, I think it is the best thing for both me and the baby. It has been incredibly hard at times. My XP and I are working on a friendship and he has dinner with us once a week. He refers to this time as his Belly Access Visit.

    As has been said get yourself a support network. The drama's of pg are really mind blowing at times and it helps to have someone to talk to or even just cry with. Believe me as the weeks go on the emotions become totally unpredictable.

    I find myself questioning everything.. decisions, feelings, actions... but most of the time it is so worth it. God that sounds like I regret my baby, I DON'T, not in the slightest its just that sometimes it can be hard.

    A support network is so necessary because you need someone to go to when you have the exciting things too.. like scans, or quickening (first itme you feel bubs move)... you just want to and need to tell someone... it is so exciting and amazing.

    Will chat heaps I am sure Jackie and congratulations on being such an amazing, independant woman who I am sure will be a great mum!.

  4. #4

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    Default

    Ohhhh Me Me Me! I am! :smt041

    Im really excited about being a sole parent too! I do have an unusual outlook but I cant see anything bad at all about being a single / sole parent. Im not a 'needy' person anyway, and I dont need constant reassurance, I also consider myself hugely independant, so Im more than happy to be doing it by myself. IYKWIM

    Its been completely my decision. The divorce, and the choice of being a sole parent. So maybe that makes it easier. I have no intention of reforming a relationship with my XP, not even for the sake of our daughter. (Realllllly long story) If it means anything, the only time I have missed having my X around, is when I couldnt put the bloody pram together... but that lasted about a minute! Solved that problem by picking up the phone! Considering my hormones are supposed to be all over the place, it says alot if thats been the only thing thats bothered me :badgrin:

    However good for you Rosebud! Artificial insemination is such a great thing and I admire you. Id love to find out more about it! (mind you Im never getting pregnant AGAIN Im just curious by nature) I hope you stay around BB and keep us informed. I hardly come into this Topic, because of the fact that single parents are put with Grandparents :smt102 lol but Im glad I did, and will do more often. Even though I dont have long to go I will be around for alot longer Im sure, especially once the baby is born and I have no idea what Im doing!

    Anyway I talk ALOT, and am having lots of trouble sleeping lately so if you ever want to talk or ask questions etc please email me anytime!

  5. #5

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    Default

    Hi Jackie,

    I must admit it's great to hear someone is going through the same thing I am, well, almost the same! I am single and going through IVF using donor sperm. My first attempt didn't work and I'm trying again at the moment. I have had fibroids and I know my odds of getting pregnant aren't brilliant but I have to give it a try while I still can (I am 37). Mr Right hasn't come along so it's been a tough decision going through IVF on my own - but my one dream is to be a Mum so I can only keep my fingers crossed.

    Marg

  6. #6

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    Hi Everyone

    I'm currently single (DP is still on the scene though) and trying to work through this on my own. Not sure if its a permanent thing but I'm preparing to be by myself and do the 'single' parent thing any way.

    And I've never even seen the single parents after the grandparents thing - maybe someone should suggest seperating them?? I'll definately be in here more often. I think its great that people in similar situations can help and support each other through both the good and bad times!!!

  7. #7

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    Hello
    I'm a single mum to Ashlea, 4 years old. I am 24. I kicked ashy's dad out when Ashy was 15 months old cause he is a moron. She still see's him all the time, and he is a great dad, just not a great ex partner. His gf is a psycho.... Moving on....

    I love being a single mum, I personally find it easier than when I was with her father. I managed to complete a years study and am now a massage therapist. I work 2 days a week when Ashlea is in day care. I dont have any family here in melb, but have some wonderful wonderful friends. So many people see being a single mum as a 'oh poor you' thing, but i love it and dont see that it holds me back from anything.

    Its me and Ashlea against the world i say!

  8. #8
    kerry Guest

    Default

    Hey Dee... the single parent thread has been quiet for a while but thought I'd ask how things were going with the psycho xp's gf... I think I read somewhere that she taught your precious little darling a not very nice word... if you want I'll pop round with my jumbo sized bottle of tobasco sauce to teach the silly nutcase a thing or to about verbal manners... go on I need a vent (late pg angriness coming out) and it would be fun for me. Hope you don't need to resort to the lawyers again.

  9. #9
    kerry Guest

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    Dee - meant to say xp's psycho gf!!!!!!!!!

  10. #10

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    Hey Kerry, the drama's continue
    But this time i'm onto things. I told him flat out that this next week he as Ashlea for (boxing day til the 2nd Jan) usis his absolute last chance. If Ash comes home with anything negative to say about anything that happened or was said, i told him flat out that he will not see Ashlea for contact visits anymore. I told him the only way to change that it to take it to court to say i'm not letting him see her, and he knows that i have documented with my solicitor everything that has happened with his psycho gf. He knows if he takes it to court with everything that has happened he is totally screwed. Oh, and I told him i'll move back home if she ever says another thing to me when its none of her business, which means he'll only see her once a fortnight at have to travel to do so
    He know's he'll never win with me!!!

    Hows things with you?

    Oh, and i already told him if i had a bus, she's the first person i'd run down with it

  11. #11

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    Default just turned 40...

    Hello Jackie et all,

    I am acutally waiting for a call from my gyno. Not waiting any longer. Am going to do (well try) the baby thing on my own.
    I know he has a doc he uses for donor but any advice appreciated. I am in Sydney - East.
    Would be sooooo grateful for any feedback about where etc and how you went about it.
    I am so nervous and excited at the same time but obviously terrified it may not work.
    Would love any feed back...

    thanks....Lulu

  12. #12

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    Default

    Hi Lulu
    =D> Congratulations on your decision. It is a very big step to take. My story is in LT TTC 'Donor Insemination' thread - too long to post here.
    Can't help with any info about donors or procedures if you don't go through an IVF clinic.
    But most IVF clinics will provide ART to single women. Trouble is, there's a donor shortage atm. I went through IVF Australia (North) and there were no problems. Medicare funding may be your only hurdle. Luckily (??) I had a history of infertility with my ex so could claim the rebate. I know IVFA have an 'East' clinic.
    Good luck with your journey!!

  13. #13
    katanya Guest

    Default

    Hi Jackie, I am also not single by choice by by life crcumstances..as for being a single parent I love bieng my own person and having my own life, it's actually the contact with XDP at the moment that makes life hard but you wont have that..

    In my pregnancy I feltI did alot on my own, it's only nowiin retro spect I realise how little he did for me, I just kind of got on with things..

    I would suggest finding some strong postive male role models in your child's life. I think that is the hardest thing about having a role model that isn't your choice for your child's father..

    You will be able to chose all that when you begin..

    All the best inyour pregnancy..and buildingyour support networks because they are very necessary both you and bubs..

  14. #14

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    Hi Sue,

    Thanks for the reply. I actually made an appointment with IVF Aust on Friday - before I got your message. They also said there was a donor shortage but may have 1 or 2 available. Anyway - I have no idea how it works so guess I will find out when i see her...

    best...Lulu

  15. #15

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    All the best Lulu.

    Lets hope this becomes a wonderful journey for you!!

    Keep us updated with your progress won't you??

  16. #16

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    Default Going it alone

    Hi,
    I am so deeply hoping to get a response to this and that people are still chatting about this subject but maybe youve all gone off to another forum now to have babies. i too have decided to do the ai at home with donor sperm. Have just joined fertility friend to map out my cycles. I have a very good gay friend who has offered his support. I have been out of a relationship for 5 years now, and the body clock is ticking. i already work 25 hours a week and manage 2 other kids by myself so am more than ready for a third. i have very carefully thought about all the pros and cons of such a debatable topic But i am very sure. I'm starting to think though that i may not havbe age on my side as I'm 36 now;wouldnt want to leave it any later. I wonder if it would impact any future relationships that i have with men, as i will then have 3 children but as i really dont like men(even after all this time;been badly burnt and tarred them all with the same brush). I am attracted to men, just don't like them much as a race. So cant c this as compromising anything. Also my eldest child is 8and a half. Looking so very foward to any feedback and to hear other peoples stories on this issue??? Please reply. xXXXpollyanna [-o<

  17. #17

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    Default Going it alone /2.reply to stardragon and all

    xx Polly[color=violet][/colorHi all,
    Thanks for the comments stardragon.its lovely to hear someone who is on the same wavelength. I am astounded at how much info there is on the internet about donor insemination. Fantastic. You can ask Jeeves anything..lol. I hope that one day there will be a man who will be on my wavelength;don't want to do this alone thing my whole life!! But men are wired so differently.. I even have to laugh when it came to chosing a donor,my friend wanted to help me further by doing it the old fashioned way;in case i caused myself any discomfort. I was just like RIGHT!! sure ;arent you so considerate about wanting to help me??LMAO. Unfortunately my outside packiging doesnt help men go away. I'm a 36dd and a size 14,with blue eyes and blonde hair down to my hips. Maybe i should shave my head and knock my front teeth out. HHHMMM. That might upset the kids... oh well.. I'll let you all know more as i go along.. Dont anticipate it will happen immediately. But hopefully not ages.. [-o< \/ \/ :-k X Polly

  18. #18

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    Default

    Hey Stardragon,aka Kelly,
    Well the ball is certainly rolling.This is the first month that i have been trying. Funny i decided yes;then had to rethink things-just to make sure there wasnt too much emotion in my descision.So i stuck to my guns and stuck to my original plan. i used ff plan to map my cycle then when i was sure it was go time. I stayed at the donors house; him in one room doing the buisness and me in the other. 5 times during the fertile days. So fingers crossed. He was really good about everyting and we had lots of laughs;because even as friends it was a strange and awkward thing to do. But it hasnt changed our friendship. but now all of a sudden we have a quiet laugh;and only we know why. So now i'm 4dpo,and cant wait to test. its killing me to wait.But i think that is because i'm sure that i am. god could it really be that easy?Could i be that lucky?My girlfriends have said over the last couple of days what is wrong with you love?Talk about being scattered;I just joke and say its ok its a blonde thing and laugh it off. This being because my last act of stupidity made everyone crack up-i did my grocery shopping and forgot my pin number(which i've had for 5 years),and had to go home and get it and then got back to the supermarket to get the groceries. And my boobs already look bigger and i've got those icky tummy apins;that are a lot like period...Implantation?Its amazing how much you analyse all the things that are going on in your body,when your ttc. hope that you also are keeping well and that dd is good. How did you enjoy your christmas and new year.? Look foward to hearing how you are going to;if you have msn you are more than welcome to add me to your list. My username is pollyanna. Of course with hotmail.

    All the best
    Pauline

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