Thanks for replies/ suggestions. Family of 3 - I like the idea of the 'adopt a grandparent' thing. I have actually suggested foster parenting to her in the past. She is one of those people who talks and talks about things she'd like to do - but never does them. Her house is loaded with years of unhealthy hoarding, and she talks about cleaning it out and renovating her house, year after year after year.... she'd rather busy herself with visiting people and making food for them. Sweet, yes. But it's really a distraction to prevent her from having to face the problems in her life, and sadly, her loneliness :-(. Ultimately I think she needs a spiritual outlet - to get involved in organised charitable giving that does not drive family bonkers. But I would feel like I am condescending her by saying these things - given that she is at about 30 years my senior.

Janie71 - we already have an organised family dinner every 6 weeks at my parents house - where extended family (she and my other Aunts) come to. Plus there are the additional birthdays, special occasions. So I personally feel that for a busy Mum, with friends I already see far less than I'd like - seeing my great Aunt at family dinner every 6 weeks is completely adequate. What do you think?

I feel sad because I never used to feel this way about her before having kids. If I'd known she would respond in this way I would have tried to set some boundaries from the start.

Chocaholic - She is my Dad's sister, but I do like your suggestion. My Dad is very gentle and diplomatic and would probably be the best person to speak to her. I am certainly worried that I will just blow up at her one day and cause unnecessary offence!