Bath time with big brother

[Sammiejane]

Not sure where to ask the question, Mods please move if there is somewhere more appropriate.

DSS is 10 years old and lives most of the time at his mums (he is with us every other weekend plus 1/2 school hols).
he adores his little sister, Molly Jane, and wants to be involved with everything when he is with us.

We let him bath her a couple of weeks ago - as in both in the bath together, but a couple of people raised their eye brows at us when they were told.
Is this wrong?
He is aware that both his Dad and I will bath or shower with Molly Jane. He still sees his Dad naked at times but not me anymore (that stoped only when i was pg thou), he would see there being no difference.
He is not sexually aware yet.. and to be honest i hadnt even hough of it in that way and am saddened that i am having to ask.

Advise please - anyone else had a similar situation? I think had DSS been a DSD i wouldnt have had raised eyebrows

Thanks

[MrsFabuloso]

If you have no problems with it, don't worry what others think. Other people don't know your life or your step son like you do. I used to bathe with my brothers who are 7 and 8 yrs older than me, up until I was about 3 or so and only stopped cause they wanted their privacy. Children grow up all too quickly nowadays. It's sweet that he wants to be part of his sisters life and help out. I would let him, he's only a little boy! As you say if he was a she, there's be no problem. And I'm sure he wouldn't be left alone with a tiny baby anyhow, you'd be thereall the time, so no worries. He's gonna grow up soon anyway and will want privacy.

[Phteven]

I think it's lovely that he wants to help out and be involved with his little sister and I don't see anything wrong with him bathing with her.
In just a few years he'll hit puberty and then he'll probably want his privacy anyway. In the meantime they're building a great bond and he'll be in a position to be a great mentor to her in years to come.

[MantaRay]

Personally I don't see any problem with it. In a couple of years if they want to play in his bedroom with the door shut, well that's a different story. But a 10yo should be able to bath with a younger sister no worries. If you get any funny reactions, just don't talk about it. I think it's sad though that it has to be like that.

[Rouge]

I think being in the bath is fine, I wouldn't worry about any inappropriate sexual behaviour but I might be adverse to leaving an older child alone in a bath with a month old for safety reasons. On the off chance bubba fell and bumped their head or slipped under water that would be my only concern.

[C~Q]

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Whenever we have friends round for drinks or a BBQ or whatever, when it gets to that time we have all the kids jump in the bath together. Last weekend there was 2 girls (15months and 5rs) and 3 boys (3, 6 and 8).
It's sad we have to worry about what people think and even sadder what they are thinking

[AnyDream]

Just watch out from the safety aspect - there's a really high incidence of bath tub drownings where older siblings have been left to supervise a younger sibling with tragic consequences.

[Sammiejane]

THanks guys for your comments and support.

DSS would never be left alone in the bath with his sister - no matter how confident he felt i could never feel comfortable and also i would never put him in that situation, its not fair to him.

I do understand why you pointed this out and probably should have clarified that they were both supervised the WHOLE time.

[Trish]

SJ, as a mum of older boys and younger girls, I have never ever worried or given it a second thought. Although my boys are far too old to want to bath with the little ones now, they did when they were younger, and it was quite sweet.

Don't worry what other people think or say. If you and your DH are comfortable with it then that's all that matters.

[Sammiejane]

thanks! I never thought it was an issue until someone said something!

DSS and his little sister will continue to bath together until he wants his privacy or doesnt ask to do so.

Thanks again for all your comments

[Rouge]

Oh well thats even sillier! If you are there then how could anything happen anyway (not that I'm saying anything would, as I still don't see any problems between boys & girls bathing). And I hope I didn't offend, I was just trying to clarify

[Schmickers]

I agree with Dach, when he does start to think about nudity in a sexual way, he will be far more interested in spending time with himself than his step sister... i tihnk it's sad that we have such nudity taboos as well - all we're doing really is giving kids a reason to think that there must be something sexual or rude or naughty about nudity. I have no problems about being nude around the girls, and they have no hang-ups about their own bodies. And lets face it, Molly is 3, and even after seeing me naked for three years, she still thinks the main difference between boys and girls is that boys have short hair and girls have long hair ...

[Trish]

And lets face it, Molly is 3, and even after seeing me naked for three years, she still thinks the main difference between boys and girls is that boys have short hair and girls have long hair ...

Doesn't say alot for you Michael :P

[Sammiejane]

Cai - No offense taken at all, i understand why you said it, better to be safe i say

[tan32]

I would not have seen anything wrong with it either, infact my 9 yr old daughter showers while my 4 yr old son baths we have seperate shower and bath but only with a glass screen, they talk and giggle together all the time, I know when this little man arrives my DD will want to bath with him, just like she will want to change his nappy and wipe his bottom.
She doesnt like to bath with DS anymore as he and his toys take up to much room and she cant lie down in the bath with him in there.
If your DSS is anything like my daughter its the fact that Molly is a baby not whether she is a girl or a boy, he is just in love with this tiny baby and wants to be involved.
Let them be innocent siblings.

[aussienic]

I see nothing wrong with it either.. My almost 9 yr old had a bath with my DD the other week.. My other 2 sons now think this is great.. Keeps me happy they play with her while I watch on