I wasn't really smacked when I was little, my mum never hit me, my dad did occaisionally. Once he smacked me hard for jumping on the bed when I was having a sleep over with a friend. I was soo embarrassed. I remember it exactly and wouldn't speak to dad for a week because of it. So I think it would be pretty traumatic if you got smacked frequently for such things. My brothers were abused by my father. I have never been able to figure out why he never hit me like that, I always think it's cause I'm a girl and 10yrs younger than them, but I saw what he did and I see how my brothers are with him as adults and it's not nice. DH was smacked when he was little and doesn't mind using smacking as punishment and a teaching technique. But I have explained to him I don't want him to do it and why and he hasn't really done it since. Though he does get very frustrated with DD soemtimes and just tells me 'I can't do this' and I will step in.
I try not to smack. I don't see that smacking my DD will teach her anything, other than being violent when someone does something you don't like is ok. Though in saying that I have smacked her on her hand a few times and once on her (naked) bum (for standing on the toy box and almost falling off onto the tiles, scaring me to death! And I am ashamed to say leaving a hand mark), when in dangerous situations, but even then I really try not to. I have also done it a few times out of frustration when she does the same things over and over, like biting me. But I believe violence begets violence. After I do it I regret it and really make an effort to talk to her rather than smack. I don't smack my DH or my mum when they do things I think are 'naughty' why would I smack my baby? I would rather open line of communication and talk to her explain how I feel or the consequenses of her actions (though she's still only a baby). Children (even babies) do understand tone of voice if not words. She knows when I mean business. And besides when I smack her, she just smacks me back....at 1yr old. Imagine when she's 15 and I smacked her, it would turn into a cat fight!! I would hope by then we have a good communicative relationship and I can tell her how I feel and vice versa.