I don't remember my parents raising their voices let alone smacking (except once when I was nine which I vividly remember because my first reaction was 'dad's being an idiot, I'm too old for this caper')

I don't think it was a moral objection on their part to voice-raising or smacking, just that they're pretty laidback. Mum's reaction to most things that I may have got whalloped for by another parent was amusement.

Infact, I so rarely got told off that I was MORTIFIED if I ever did - by my parents or by teachers. I would literally dwell on it for weeks.

I don't have really strong views on the subject but I think I'd be the same - absolute last resort measure if DD was in immediate danger.

Infact, this morning she was playing on the bed with me and went to pull the lamp off the bedside table. I put my hand on hers and said no and she cried! Not even a smack (which obviously I wouldn't do in that case because she's not old enough to know that lamps aren't meant to be pulled off) ... but I do think if you use 'no' sparingly rather than for every last thing, then they're more likely to take notice. For instance, I could say no all day when DD pulls books off the bookshelf ... but I really don't mind. She doesn't rip books (that would be different), she's just looking and exploring and that's fine by me.

My DP on the hand was hit quite a lot as a child and blames this for the poor relationship he has with his father.