Im asking mums (and dads) who have said enough is enough kids wise.....does the feeling of not wanting anymore ever go away?
Id always planned to have 4 kids.
2 girls 2 boys.....sure thats in my fairytale world where things go as planned
Through my entire pregnancy with Zachery, DH and i said that he would be our last. My body has been through a lot with 3 very close pregnancies (which for the record were all planned and i wouldnt have it any other way),i suffer PND and didnt want to see me go down hill yet again when ive been going so well, we thought its now time to enjoy our 3 kids we have been blessed with and watch them grow up.
However......DH is now saying that maybe #4 will happen. I mean id love too...and i wouldnt think twice in saying YES.....but....once #4 came (IF #4 happens....this is all hypothetical atm).....will this 'Hmm maybe another baby' feeling will return?
I know id love another one...but right now theres just to much to consider....new car, financials, the age of our children and the girls would have to share room (and its a pet hate of mine).
I think my main hold back right now is the car situation.....other then that the rest is easy solved
Actually, serious now, DH and I were talking about going for #3 last night (and nooo nothing happened - as per usual ) and we were saying that if we were going to do it - to do it sooner than later. Would I be confident that would be my last? Who knows? Some days I see myself with heaps, some days I see myself with just the two I have.
I think I'm just gonna go with the flow - and see what life deals out - and not think TOO much about it. Cos I think when it comes to having kids and deciding these things - sometimes all the best planning in the world doesn't mean its gonna happen that way.
For it has gone away.. the urge to have more kids that is.. that getting a newborn cuddle doesn't though.. If I see a newborn I just want to cuddle it and smell it.. and when I see a pregnant women I just want to rub her tummy. I was never like that before but now.. im just weird :P
ps I don't go around touching and smelling other peoples babies
Thankfully on the rare occasions one of us wants another, the other doesn't!
I went through all of DS's tiny baby things last night. Can't believe he was so tiny! Getting rid of them today. Only on loan, just in case... but they'll probably not be used again until my sister has a baby LOL.
I love admiring babies. I just don't want another. Well, not living where I do. Sharing a room would not be an issue for me if space were the only issue. Extended Family is by far and away the reason we're stopping at one!
Here I am, pregnant with what will hopefully be my 4th earth baby... yet I keep thinking about #5 (already!)
I am hoping once this bub is here, the feeling will dissipate and I will be more than happy with the 4 that DH & I agreed on.
Sorry that I couldn't give you an answer... just know you're definitely not alone
Personally i don't think the feeling goes away for a long time. maybe once the youngest is a teen and we can do adult things again it does.
for us its not a question of what we want but what we can afford. if we won lotto we would go another timeor two but at some time we had to make a choice and we always knew 3 was affordable for us. any more than that and the babies we already have would have to give things up, and we would struggle too much.
but that urge is still there. DH is having the chop as soon as he is old enough so we know it wont happen.
I find it sad sometimes to think i will never have another baby, but i also find it exciting knowing my babies are growing up.
From conversations I've had with mums who have completed their families, the longing for another baby never entirely goes away, but yes, it does fade over time. I think it's just part of the maternal instinct you know, go forth and multiply?
I guess there comes a point when we listen to our heads and not our hearts and know that the time has come for us - but only you can decide that! For me, this will be our last baby. Physically, mentally and emotionally I am ready to stop. DH is in agreement but his reasons are more financial.
Big help huh?? LOL!
Last edited by Willow; February 19th, 2009 at 06:32 AM.
I cant believe I'm admitting this, but I want more too...
I just wish the feeling would go away... but it is soo strong... Ad was meant to go get the chop, and 2 days after Angel I said no, dont, I'm not finished!!!
Financially we just cant, but the urge is definatly there, and I keep thinking "what if I regret NOT having another one? I certainly wouldn't regret having one!"
But in reality, its just silly to keep having children because I want to, so we wont be having another. There is sooo much to consider, esp the other kids... although they keep asking if we are getting another one!!!
I hope someone comes in and tells us it goes away, or what to do if it doesnt......
But hey, 4 kids is a small family to me, go for it... I love my large familt to pieces!!!!
Actually I do think it goes away after a while. Willow will tell you, I struggled for a long time because I wanted another baby after we had Charlie, and DH didn't.
So I got angry with him, and resented him and for a long time, felt like that longing was something I'd never get over.
But to be honest, I have gotten of it. I didn't realise how much until a couple of nights ago when Charlie was climbing all over DH, and DH asked me if I thought he was lonely, and were we wrong to not try for another child.
Two years ago I would have cried from how happy I was that he was actually thinking about another child.
And yet two nights ago, I went completely silent with shock, and realised how much I actually have accepted that we aren't having any more kids, and I actually don't want to have any more now.
That was a revelation because I never, ever thought I'd see the day where I wouldn't want another child. But there you go. I actually don't.
OH yeah, I'm totally fine about not having any more. I LIKE giving them back after a cuddle now, and that newborn smell just reminds me of my babies, it doesn't make me long for another one.
Oh Kim it is horible being torn over the issue of whether or not to have more kids. I get so clucky around newborns and I can sit and cuddle them all day and wish they were mine, but when it gets to the end of the day and I have to get my 2 year old into bed, i am thankful there are no other babies in my house.
I know that I dont want any more babies with DS dad, but i can imagine myself being happy to have a couple more in many years time if I meet a lovely guy.....
Oh Kim it is horible being torn over the issue of whether or not to have more kids. I get so clucky around newborns and I can sit and cuddle them all day and wish they were mine, but when it gets to the end of the day and I have to get my 2 year old into bed, i am thankful there are no other babies in my house.
I know that I dont want any more babies with DS dad, but i can imagine myself being happy to have a couple more in many years time if I meet a lovely guy.....
Does the urge ever fade away?
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) and we were saying that if we were going to do it - to do it sooner than later. Would I be confident that would be my last? Who knows? Some days I see myself with heaps, some days I see myself with just the two I have.
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