Family structures and annoying comments

[Dot Face]

It sounds like you were over thinking what she said. Her remarks/questions sound like something I'd say to someone in your position just out of curiosity. If I was a young aspiring lawyer like her, I'd ask anybody with kids who is a practicing lawyer how they handle it with or without the other parent staying at home.

She even said to you after you explained to her that a mother isn't the default parent that that wasn't what she meant, so it sounds like you dissected (and misinterpreted) her comments a bit too much .

I just want to say though that I think it's amazing that you're a lawyer and a mum of two boys, that's incredibly admirable. I constantly worry about how I'd balance studying and just one son if I go back to study post grad, and women like yourself make me feel more confident about it.

[Sagres]

I'm reading The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb at the moment and it explores this kind of issue and the reason behind that question in-depth. I'm really enjoying it, anyone else reading it?

[wysiwyg]

I'm reading The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb at the moment and it explores this kind of issue and the reason behind that question in-depth. I'm really enjoying it, anyone else reading it?

I have it on reserve a the library - I am now 2 of 40 so should get it soon. It sounds very interesting - although I did think in some of her interviews about the book it was a bit odd to then go on about how good she was at baking and making cookies for cake stalls - which although she may be I did think the fact she needed to mention it is due to some of the stereotypes that we should be trying to dismiss.

[~me~]

I would ask anyone not just a lawyer how they cope being a full time worker with kids. It's more out of curiosity how they do it, this comes from having a DH who worked ridiculous retail hours as we would have found it extremely difficult if we both worked full time.

My DH and I have just done a direct roll swap. I have gone back to work full time and he is a full time SAHD after many years as the main breadwinner. It has always been our plan to whoever can be the main breadwinner works and the other stays home.
I honestly think it's how we as the female project it to others. Yes that's a bit antiquated, to leave it the woman. That doesn't bother me one bit, my DH also proudly says he is now a SAHD.

I loudly and proudly say "my husband is a SAHD, if he wants to work, then it's his turn to go part time and work around kids and routines". My DH and I have discussed this by the way and agree.
I get looks like I have two heads, not to bother, I just soldier and keep going with all the positives.

So PN, just keep going and eventually everyone should catch on

[trishalishous]

we are fighting it by not having set gender roles.
My kids know that Dad does the housework and Mum goes to work.

I hope they will grow up knowing that both parents contribute and work as a team.

[wysiwyg]

I'm reading The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb at the moment and it explores this kind of issue and the reason behind that question in-depth. I'm really enjoying it, anyone else reading it?

Picked up from library yesterday, am a few chapters in, enjoying it so far, some very interesting statistics.

[wysiwyg]

I'm reading The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb at the moment and it explores this kind of issue and the reason behind that question in-depth. I'm really enjoying it, anyone else reading it?

I have just finished it - I thought a very interesting read - lots of new things I didn't know about(the marriage bar), statistics and ideas. There was one quote I particularly liked from Christine Milne which was about considering a political career but could be about considering any career

"Just go into it with your eyes open and think about how you are going to stage your career. How long are you going to be there?What role, what level of responsibility? Is this the best time to do it? Have you got that level of support in your own relationship and family that will enable you to do the job well?"

I don't think I ever thought about it, I was naive I think, I thought it would be totally possible to do whatever I wanted and have children, it can be possible but only with the right framework - which might be your partner, your family, or outsourced support (childcare, in home help etc.), and some planning. I wish I had asked people more questions about how they have arrived where they are and how they manage it.

I also confirmed what I have always known - that I am a pretty lousy 'wife' - but then who is the 'wife' in our relationship fluctuates according to our jobs at the time, DH has been in the 'wife' role for more of our relationship than I have. DH is quite a good 'wife' he is better at most of it apart from the childcare than me.