I dont have much in the way of advice except to say Im in a similar situation of having a very different parenting style to DH, and he seems to think thats OK.
Recently i have made inroads on some of it though, when I asked him if it would be ok for daycare to do XYZ, and he said no way..but he was doing it..i think that gave him some perspective..
Sorry Im not more help but wanted to give you and know that someone else out there feels your pain