How often do you speak to your mum?

**Lisa** · May 8th, 2013, 03:39 AM

I speak to my mum a few times a week. I mostly keep in contact with my family over FB though as they all live a few hrs North & South of me; so I basically hear from mum daily and speak every second day.

**Lenny** · May 8th, 2013, 06:48 AM

Once a month ish? Maybe once on the phone/Skype, and an email each month.

My poor DH is estranged from his mum. I am lucky that I can be honest and true with my mum and she remains honest and true with me. We get on extremely well with the remainder of his family, so we are happy that history will not repeat.

**FabFiona** · May 8th, 2013, 06:56 AM

Most days - if not calling then by SMS or email. My mum and dad care for my sons 2 days a week so I see them regularly too.

**Mumma T** · May 8th, 2013, 07:23 AM

N2L - My Mum chooses not to speak to me. There is no way in hell that I could not speak to my son. My mother obviously has delusions of some description as she didn't speak to any of her other kids either.

To be honest I have been offered the option of seeing her just recently after 7 years and she still hasn't even asked to see me or for my phone number, nada. I have declined the offer as I have nothing left to say to her.

No I don't worry about history repeating itself, I am a very different person to her.

**LionsandBears** · May 8th, 2013, 08:10 AM

Mum and I are very close though we dont livein each other's pockets. We'll talk 2-3 times a week usually.

In fact she just called me as I was typing this, though it was just to see if I wanted a ticket to something she's booking.

She's busier than me and I can sometimes feel put out when I cant get hold of her when I need her now! Lol.

**~Gee_Whizzy~** · May 8th, 2013, 08:46 AM

If talking to her spirit counts, then yes, I 'talk' to her everyday. 24 years since she left this Earth and I still miss her like it happened yesterday. Very envious of those of you who are close to your Mums and sad for those who have little to no relationship with your Mums

**Cass72** · May 8th, 2013, 08:53 AM

I speak to my mum almost every day. I couldn't let it go more than three days without a hello. If I'm super busy at work and can't manage a call, I'll text a quick I love you.

**Peace** · May 8th, 2013, 08:53 AM

We talk over the phone almost everyday and I visit every second day or so. Now. It wasn't always like this. She is bat sh*t crazy and certainly not about to win any parenting awards, but a wonderful best friend for me. Since she moved from being an hour away to be 5 minutes down the road, we have really bonded. Through wanting to start a family, ttc, loss and pregnancy she has been wonderfully supportive and positive for both myself and dp.

**sepata** · May 8th, 2013, 09:17 AM

I entered counselling when I was 26 & my reason was to make sure my daughter does not grow up with a mum like mine.

Do you feel that this helped? I've often seriously considered the same thing for the same reasons.

For those who don't speak to their mums/dads do you ever worry history may repeat and your own children won't speak to you?

All the time. I would hate for that to happen to me and my kids. That's why I've made a very conscious effort to educate myself on parenting and to teach myself to be exactly opposite from my own mum. I can only hope and pray that my effort pays off in 20 odd years.

You know, people always say that when you have kids you appreciate your mum more. It was the exact opposite for me. I felt warmer towards my mum before I fell pregnant. My first pregnancy was very difficult for me because I suddenly realised all the things my mum did when I was growing up weren't normal and I really struggled to comprehend how a mother could treat her child like that. I don't know if it was because I was the oldest, because I was a girl, because I was different to her as a kid or simply because I was me, but my siblings have both acknowledged that the way she treated me was completely whacked and different to the way she treated them. It's something I have seriously considered speaking to a pro about but I'm scared that down the track they will make me talk to her about it and I'm not ready for that.

**sushee** · May 8th, 2013, 09:23 AM

I do worry about history repeating. I went for over a year without speaking to my 21yo son. His choice, not mine. And I did reach out, but it wasn't reciprocated (though I'm sure my mother would claim the same about me). Things ebb and flow with my other two adult kids - I sometimes talk to them all the time, sometimes it's once every couple of weeks, sometimes it will be months, but usually it's because of what's happening in their lives and not because we're estranged. I'm still the first person they come to when they need help and we have a good relationship in all other respects.

I hardly ever am the one to contact my mother. And when she contacts me, it's usually for very specific reasons (read: what she needs from me), and usually has nothing to do with her being concerned with my well-being. She is very close to my two younger siblings though so I hear most of what is going on with her through them, if I hear anything at all. We used to be close and we'd talk almost every week at least but that was a lifetime ago and I can't even remember it well enough to miss it anymore.

**Olive** · May 8th, 2013, 09:30 AM

Only if I have too, bad I know, but we don't have anything to talk about.

**LimeSlice** · May 8th, 2013, 09:34 AM

Every day. Of course, she doesn't answer me, but her living on my bookcase helps make it easy to speak to her... Would give almost anything to hear her answer just one more time though.

**Joeve** · May 8th, 2013, 10:02 AM

Every day

**TickToc** · May 8th, 2013, 11:20 AM

I entered counselling when I was 26 & my reason was to make sure my daughter does not grow up with a mum like mine.

Do you feel that this helped? I've often seriously considered the same thing for the same reasons.

For those who don't speak to their mums/dads do you ever worry history may repeat and your own children won't speak to you?

All the time. I would hate for that to happen to me and my kids. That's why I've made a very conscious effort to educate myself on parenting and to teach myself to be exactly opposite from my own mum. I can only hope and pray that my effort pays off in 20 odd years.

You know, people always say that when you have kids you appreciate your mum more. It was the exact opposite for me. I felt warmer towards my mum before I fell pregnant. My first pregnancy was very difficult for me because I suddenly realised all the things my mum did when I was growing up weren't normal and I really struggled to comprehend how a mother could treat her child like that. I don't know if it was because I was the oldest, because I was a girl, because I was different to her as a kid or simply because I was me, but my siblings have both acknowledged that the way she treated me was completely whacked and different to the way she treated them. It's something I have seriously considered speaking to a pro about but I'm scared that down the track they will make me talk to her about it and I'm not ready for that.

Yes, I feel getting help for myself was a great benefit for my daughter because I discovered that the way I was treated was not normal & I had to accept that for whatever reason my mum doesn't like me & competes with me. I have never spoken to her about it because I'm scared of what she'll say to justify her behaviour. My DD knows no matter what that I love her, even if I'm angry or upset.

The best thing my mum did was teach me how to not treat my children.

**Pholi** · May 8th, 2013, 11:25 AM

These days, about once a week or so, sometimes a little more often. Back in my travelling days, which lasted 15 years, we spoke every 6-8 months or so, with no ill-will or loss of closeness at all.

**~Hestia~** · May 8th, 2013, 11:30 AM

I am blessed to have wonderful parents and I can't imagine what it must be like not to. For those who don't speak to their mums/dads do you ever worry history may repeat and your own children won't speak to you?

Genuine question. It would kill me if my DD didnt speak to me when she is grown with her own family

Even though we are on speaking terms, we weren't for quite awhile. Our relationship is not very good and yes I do worry that my boys will grow up and not speak to me. I know I am different to my mother and I know she has got issues that have impacted our relationship, however I think it will always be in the back of my mind. This thread has prompted me to try harder with her.

**Jellyfish** · May 8th, 2013, 11:37 AM

Most days although not always the phone as I can't get a word in edgeways between my two girls trying to tell Gangar absolutely every little thing that's happened to them lol can't they see that's what I want to do!!

My parents and brother are in New York at the moment and I really miss them (between the moments of pure jealousy lol) but they'll be back in time for Mother's Day!