I do worry about history repeating. I went for over a year without speaking to my 21yo son. His choice, not mine. And I did reach out, but it wasn't reciprocated (though I'm sure my mother would claim the same about me). Things ebb and flow with my other two adult kids - I sometimes talk to them all the time, sometimes it's once every couple of weeks, sometimes it will be months, but usually it's because of what's happening in their lives and not because we're estranged. I'm still the first person they come to when they need help and we have a good relationship in all other respects.

I hardly ever am the one to contact my mother. And when she contacts me, it's usually for very specific reasons (read: what she needs from me), and usually has nothing to do with her being concerned with my well-being. She is very close to my two younger siblings though so I hear most of what is going on with her through them, if I hear anything at all. We used to be close and we'd talk almost every week at least but that was a lifetime ago and I can't even remember it well enough to miss it anymore.