Nelle - I'm pretty sure he does. He has made some very specific comments of late asking if I'm comming back when I go out etc. I know he's worried. He has improved some behavior in the last few days... but I worry it is temporary... been there before.

I have tried to get him to go to counselling - he refuses. He doesn't believe in that sort of stuff. I'm very much in to holisitc care - he isn't. My workplace has an Employee Assistance Program but accessing it without DH finding out will be difficult. To access it, I would need him to pick up or drop off DD so I can go outside of my shifts... then I'd have to explain and it wouldn't go well. It is very isolating.

I feel ok at the moment. It is just trying to get my head and heart to reconcile. And work out what to do. It is a huge thing to have to consider. And is this relationship salvagable? How do you know? Because I don't know any more...