Nieces...nephews... Are they yours or your husbands?

[Fleur]

I guess it's up to you guys as to whether they're 'his' or 'ours'!

I agree.. I think it comes down to the dynamic in the individual family. I consider myself aunty to DH's sibling's children, and vice-versa. I also think it is very much affected by the ties you form with those kids, if it's a step-relative you have only met once or twice then of course you will feel differently; I guess if you had much more close contact over the next year or two you would start to feel differently KWIM?

FWIW I had an Aunty who divorced out of our family when I was very young, 5 or 6, and we still are in contact with her & I still consider her my aunty

[Floweryfields]

I would say they are yours too - my mums sister's husband has never been anything other than my uncle in my eyes - even though he is uncle by marriage.


PS Lime, that ticker/ad thing you mentioned in a post earlier is happening at the moment, you might not have seen.

[angelaartsstudent]

DH's sister has 3 boy's (eldest one is my age!) and the younger sister has one girl (10 years younger than me)....so he has 3 nephew's and one niece.

I call the neice my niece too becuase her Mum and I are like sisters, but have nothing to do with the boys (well, men now).

[Glamourcide]

FWIW I had an Aunty who divorced out of our family when I was very young, 5 or 6, and we still are in contact with her & I still consider her my aunty

Same here on my mum's side - mum and her brother haven't spoken since my gran died (there was dispute over some small sentimental items and my dirty uncle stole them, then pawned them), and unfortunately we lost contact with their family for many years until one day mum's SIL called out of the blue saying she and mum's brother were now divorced (long story short, he was messing about with a girl my cousin's age and they now have a baby together, my cousins don't speak to him at all and he's essentially been disowned by the whole mob) and that she was still there if we were interested in trying to put the family back together despite him. We've grown a lot closer again over the past few years and she's still definitely my aunty - as for my uncle, he's pretty much as dead to me as he is to his own kids :/ I think it all depends on the specific relationships as well - very well said, Fleur

[feeb]

i would say there are both.

Even before my brother and SIL got married she referred to DS1 as her nephew, she also refers to a friends DD as her neice.

Many friends kids call us Aunty and Uncle.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

My sister's fiance has always been Uncle to Liebs. Well, since we knew he was a long-term boyfriend - Liebs didn't meet him much before that though. My cousins are aunties and uncles, their partners (now spouses in many cases) are aunties and uncles too. We're family! All my cousins' children are called DS's cousins. (Some of my cousins do this too, others don't: the ones that don't have siblings with children though!)

My husband's brother's children are his niece and nephew. Niece is being shaped up to be a right madam and Nephew is very "naughty" but only from lack of attention. I do not get to see them often, despite requesting it, and cannot change the people they are set to become if this treatment continues and I don't like that. I don't want to be associated with their upbringing. That's really mean. I don't disown them to their faces or to those who know me IRL, but just to DH and on here I usually call them his niece and nephew.

[~MummaBear~]

I am pretty sure it has more to do with the relationship you have with the kids than when you joined the family...
My brothers Wife wasnt his wife when 3 of my kids came along but she is their Aunty.. ( or uncle if you ask DD lol) my sisters partner also wasnt there but he is in NO way my kids Uncle lol
My Dh's Nieces are my nieces too... I would never think that they were not my nieces just cause they are blood related to him iykwim.
I guess what im trying to say is that they are your Nieces/ nephews lol

[TeniBear]

Scott has four brothers (3 he hasn't seen since he was little), at least one of whom has a son, and none of whom we see regularly. I hardly consider them my brothers-in-law, let alone that I'm their kids' aunty. Scott's only met the one "definite nephew" once, and he's about five now.

If his sister were to have a child, I suppose I would leave it up to her to decide whether I'm considered an aunty or not. She tries to keep in contact fairly regularly, although I'm ignoring her at the moment (I'd rather not talk about it), so I assume she'd want her kids to call me Aunty Teni.

My brothers' kids, on the other hand, are definitely going to consider Scott an uncle. He's much closer to them than he is his own siblings, and we come as a package deal

[mrsmac]

This used to really upset me as a kid- mum's brother's wives all introduced me as "XYZ's niece" never my niece. I don't know why it hurt but it did! I call my brothers DD's and DH's sister's DS my nieces and nephew, I have never differentiated between them. I guess cause DH's sis had her only bub 2 yrs ago so I had been in the family a long time too makes a difference.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

DP and i are not married but i am Aunty L to 'OUR' niece & nephew and he is Uncle M to 'OUR' niece on my side.
All of the children were born AFTER we got together and our oldest niece is 6 and has called me Aunty L from the minute she could talk and DP and i had only been together less than a year.

I think it is a respect thing, for me my children call the partners aunty or uncle no matter what (well unless of course like my brothers new GF, she is not AUNTY as this stage)

[Cranky Kitten]

Heh, my DD has heaps of aunties and uncles - not all of them are my brothers and sisters though. In addition to my brother and sister, DH's sister and brother in law she also has my best mate from school, a couple of my own aunts are aunty as well, plus a number of step-aunties and uncles.

We're auntie and uncle to DH's godkids as well as his niece and nephew.

To us it's a respect thing as well as a way of showing a level of closeness and affection - DH's family think the world of my daughter even though DH isn't her father and I love them all the more for it

[maz]

what's mine is his and what's his is mine.
On my side mine are all in their 20's and having children of their own. I dont know many of them, not by my choice but what can I do about it. I am trying my best to get to know the ones that want to be in contact

I have (my side)
B1 - 3 nephews - 1 step niece - 1 great nephew - 1 great niece
B2 - 2 nephews (1 being step) - 1 niece - 1 great nephew- 1 great niece
S - 2 neices - 5 great nieces - 2 great nephews (yep their tramps)
B3 - 1 niece

(j's side) they are much yojnger and I have a good conection to them all
S1 - 1 nephew
B1 - 1 nephew - 2 nieces
B2 - 1 nephew
S3 - 1 nephew

Blood sometimes doesnt make family...its the emotions and ties within that truely bond a family together.

[BeautifulMadness]

i consider my Dh's nephew and neices to be my own, love em to bits

[Junglemum]

I have never considered that my hubbys siblings kids weren't my nieces and nephews. I am actually surprised people think about it! Lol

My Aunts and uncles are my mum and dads brothers and sisters. I don't differentiate between them they are all equal to me. So I feel it's the same for my nieces and nephews.

[~*familyof3*~]

We class them all as both of ours reguardless as do his sister ect.I guess it all just depends on what your family want but the way i see it is the more love the better why not

[leesha]

I agree that it is entirely dependant on your situation.
My situation is I have only one sister with 2 kids. My husband has 3 siblings, 1 has 2 girls and 1 has a boy.

They were all born after we got together so I definately have always been their Aunty!
If you have constant contact and feel like their Aunty then yes you are!
You make that call tho

[Jas]

Yes you are 100% the aunty...otherwise there would be such thing as Aunty-in-law and there isn't so you are an aunty!

[helle]

I am pretty sure it has more to do with the relationship you have with the kids than when you joined the family...
My brothers Wife wasnt his wife when 3 of my kids came along but she is their Aunty.. ( or uncle if you ask DD lol) my sisters partner also wasnt there but he is in NO way my kids Uncle lol
My Dh's Nieces are my nieces too... I would never think that they were not my nieces just cause they are blood related to him iykwim.
I guess what im trying to say is that they are your Nieces/ nephews lol

Just call me uncle Helle

I agree with leash. It's the roll you play not the blood connection, that's just a technicality.