Ok so this is going to sound disjointed at best. My father has never been in my life so not around. I'm about to loose my mother aswell and I'm just wondering how you cope. At the moment I'm not feeling anything at all I have my moments where I'm lost and sad and angry but other than that I'm just numb. I know there is a few ladies in a similar position from another thread.
I am not in your position Kylz, but wanted to give you big hugs and let you know I'm thinking about you.. I'm so sorry your Mum is so sick, it's not fair
I don't have my parents, so my kids will only ever know DPs parents as grandparents. I've got older siblings so at least they will have blood aunts/uncles in their life, they will also have my parents extended families (a heck load of cousins all over the place). Of course they will have my friends in their lives as their aunts/uncles.
It is hard hun, I'm not going to lie, some days are worse than others, when you just want one of them there.
I lost my dad when I was 13 and my mum to cancer 2 years ago. As for how I cope I think it was best described by Tom Hanks' character is Sleepless in Seattle: "Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out..."
Great big hugs to you Kylz. There's no right or wrong way to feel. Whatever you feel in any moment is what you need to for that moment.
I am similar to you that my dad is alive but he's not really a father in any way. He doesn't remember anything so I can't talk to him about my childhood or ask questions about stuff my mum would have remembered. He also ignores our birthdays and doesn't make an effort with my children so there's none of that grandparent stuff either. I lost my mum 14 years ago now. It was sudden so maybe it was easier that I didn't have to dwell on these things while she was still alive but I also would have liked to support her as she passed so we missed out on that.
Now I just count my family for who is present if that makes sense. I have two sisters and my older sister and I especially can remember family stuff together and we make sure to share stories of our mum with our little sister. I want to do the same with my children when they can understand. I am sort-of close with my mum's sisters and that's another great chance to talk about family memories and ask about family history or things about my mum.
Give your mum as many hugs as you can to last a life time, surround yourself with the most important people and go gently with yourself
I lost my my mum when I was 22 and my dad passed away 3yrs ago. It's hard, it can be very hard when you are feeling so alone. Spend as much time as you can with your mum, tell her that you will be ok, because you will. Please know that any feelings/emotions you go through are all ok, it's ok to be angry then feel extremely sad. Sending you lots of love and strength during this time .
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Orphaned Parents
I have my moments where I'm lost and sad and angry but other than that I'm just numb. I know there is a few ladies in a similar position from another thread.
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