DPs dad is dying of lung cancer. It's really hard for him.
Our kids are bigger though - and his kids have been through a lot of death. Mine haven't.
We spend a lot of time telling them (in a child friendly manner) what is going on and what to expect. My kids don't visit the hospital but his kids do.
Thanks everyone. I know IL's already have medical power and I think power of attorney has been a plan for a while now. It wouldn't be my place to ask about funeral preferences, but I could nudge IL's towards thinking about it and asking.
Sorry to everyone else who is currently or has already been though it
It isn't anything new really. He is back visiting his alternate reality. Sigh. He was going well for a bit but of course he can't stand anyone else getting attention so he refused to go to FIL's 60th birthday then did the annual christmas backslide complete with the half assed/fake suicide attempt.
I am just p'd off that DH saw fit to bring him to the house when we had agreed that he wasn't to know where we live.
BIL is now living back with the IL's. I am standing strong on the kids not visiting when BIL is there - under advice from DS's psychologist and just general common sense. The kids are far too young to deal with the unpredictability of the disease. It is hard enough for the adults to deal with how quickly he sways from being fine to being very not fine.
FIL was around the other day and asked me to reconsider my stand on keeping the children away. He said that BIL is going really well and that it isn't fair to write him off. I pointed out that he said the exact same thing a couple of months ago, then BIL attempted suicide in the back yard while we (kids included) were eating Christmas dinner.
I can see a really stupid family falling out happening because this is something I will not back down on. I would not expect anyone to have their small children around someone who is mentally unstable. Thankfully DH is on the same page which makes it easier.
As for the kids, they are pretty disappointed they can't go to the IL's anymore but I was pretty straight up and told them that Uncle has a tumour sickness growing on his brain and it makes him act in unsuitable ways sometimes. They seemed to accept that.
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Re: Terminal illness in extended family
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