To three, or not to three?

[*EJ*]

For us 2 was perfect but at the same time i was struggling to accept that that was completely it. Then our decision was made for us and now i wouldn't want it any other way. I am really enjoying her and she has presented a few more chellenges than the boys did so far. But i'm handling them better than i probably would with the boys. Life is freaking hectic with three but i love it.

I do dream about having one more but realisticly i think we're done. I just don't know about life getting any more hectic and if i'd be able to cope. We'll see...

The best thing about 1 and multiple children after that is the huge amount of love they bring into your life. Nothing can compare to that.

All the best for the decision you make but either way you're already blessed

[feeb]

I would love a 3rd but DH says nope 2 is all.

Good luck with your decision you both need to be on same page if you have a 3rd as does have added financial pressures which is why DH says no.

[OceanPrincess]

... it is very hard especailly when people around you are having gorgeous squishy newborns all the time!!! can't say i haven't been tempted lol

Absolutely - my good friend just had her first, awwww so cute and tiny and and and NEWBORN!

Cluck cluck cluck.

Anyway! Ginger, I'm not going to shoot you down because private schooling has been a big consideration for us too. DH was private schooled, I was public. We are both doing ok and we know there are some great public schools near us - for now. Who knows what they will be like in 10yrs time when the kids are actually off to secondary?

That must have been terrible for you being so sick with the two LOs. That is one area we are very lucky in - we have lots of support. Both sets of parents are around, DH's are very hands on and would help out as much as they were able. My sister is also fabulous.

Tan - LOL, I said to DH last night when I got the "wink wink how bout it?" that we'd better be careful unless we are sure we want #3... cuz DS is down to two feeds now, 6am and 7pm, so my body better be doing SOMETHING soon!

Cmon AF old friend... where are you? I just want some sort of control over it!

[OceanPrincess]

... either way you're already blessed

I know. So completely blessed

Feeb - I know what you mean. We need to agree one way or the other. Better do some more thinking

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I was want 3 or 4. I'm your age and only have on so far - we still have time for others. And Liebs was a "hard work" baby, I wanted to enjoy him and not feel that hard work because I had another to think about all the time. We also have no home support so Liebs being able to help out was a necessity. Your two are very little still: what's wrong with a slightly larger age gap?

[OceanPrincess]

...Your two are very little still: what's wrong with a slightly larger age gap?

Very good point - I always wanted my kids close in age but the more I think about it, the happier I am to let the two of them enjoy each other before thinking about another. Though friends of my parents have two in school (maybe 7 and 8 or thereabouts?) and one 2yo and the 2yo gets babied something shocking - so I'd want to be avoiding that...

[~*Niadalla*~]

I was one of 3 as was hubby. We decided early on we only wanted 2 kids. I cannot remember my reasons back then exactly, but I still only want 2.
My kids are full on. I know everyone's kids are busy, but my kids force other parents at playgroup to give me that look of pity mixed with the 'thank goodness my kids aren't that feral' eye bulge.
We're just getting to the point where DS will help out, learning about consequences and can behave himself a majority of the time. DD is a little on the feral side but I know what I'm dealing with this time around. I don't think I could go back again. The kids sleep all night, DD will be TT'd soon. The kids can do a great deal of things for themselves. It's great!

I guess from a sibling of a 3 child family, I remember alot of the time feeling left out. I was the oldest of 3 girls and the 2 younger ones seemed to have more in common. We all get along like a house on fire now, but I do remember a few tough times, as I'm sure they would aswell.

I like having 2. I can get family tickets for everything with 2 kids. LOL

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

But then I've seen families of 3 with 3-4 years between all siblings and the youngest is babied a lot - some parents just baby the youngest, no matter what gap. Nothing to do with the age gap.

I love children growing up so there's no way I'm going to be babying my children. I'm not sad when they walk or talk or do things for themselves: it's great! Do it more! Grow and learn and enjoy! You are no longer my baby but will always be my love. Even when I thought Liebs was going to be an only so I'd never get it again I felt like that, so can't see that subsequent children will change it.

[Cranky Kitten]

It's strange, I've gone from not ever wanting kids at all to completely adoring my DD and now pregnant with my second (DH's first). And we know there is another on the cards, as we talked about how many kids we wanted well before we even started working on this one

We do have a big gap though, which will be interesting - DD is already very involved in what's going on, she pets my belly and talks to her brother a lot and is very excited. Having a bit of a gap between them can be a very good thing as the little one is challenged to keep up with the bigger ones just as much as the bigger ones might want to baby the little one.

But it is a very personal decision, and there's no real right or wrong answer. Best of luck and yes, you did say "when" rather than "if"

[Freya]

Very good point - I always wanted my kids close in age but the more I think about it, the happier I am to let the two of them enjoy each other before thinking about another. Though friends of my parents have two in school (maybe 7 and 8 or thereabouts?) and one 2yo and the 2yo gets babied something shocking - so I'd want to be avoiding that...

I have worried about this exact same issue. Our first three are all less than 15mths apart and our eldest heads off to prep next year, with the other two following in the consecutive 2 years. Unfortunately our age gap for the next baby is significantly larger than the first two because I have miscarried and now Dh is overseas til next year so no TTC happening even if we want to. So at this rate #4 will be atleast just under 4 years younger than Ds3 (if we conceive quickly). Thats triple our usual age gap and it terrifies me! I worry about if its another boy, him being left out because the other 3 are very close. I think it might be the reason for maybe overcompensating and 'babying' the youngest? Either way it is what it is and I will have to deal with it but I just wanted you to know I understand your age gap concerns. Although I try to remind myself of all the positives of a larger age gap:

* I get to enjoy the baby years more rather than being in complete survival mode.
* The boys can enjoy welcoming a new sibling instead of being pretty much oblivious. It makes me excited to think about what its going to be like when I am pregnant and after the baby comes and they can fully understand the whole process!
* I wont feel torn between a bunch of 'babies' so to speak. The older 3 will be much more independent and at a different developmental stage which means no feeling guilty about not fulfilling all their needs at once, because theyll be different needs at different levels and Dh can def pick up some of the slack with the older kids.

[Taurean]

Hmmm, I think the fact that you've started this thread should tell you that you already know what you want I think most of us women just 'know'. Although I did want 4 until I fell PG with this one and decided I'm not sure I could do another first trimester two more times I just know there is absolutely no way I could stop at 2 kids though - no way. Friends with 2 or more kids have said 'Yeah, wait unitl the next one is here and see what you think' but I highly doubt this next child will change my mind about having a third. I never thought having just one baby would be as challenging and time consuming as it is but it certainly didn't stop me for a minute from wanting another one. I'm pooping my pants about having another baby but I know I've survived 22 months with DD, I'm sure I'll adjust and cope all over again. And that's my theory for number three - I'll cope, we'll cope. Sink or swim - we'll swim

So I think from what you've said in various posts that three kids is your calling but maybe a slightly bigger age gap is what you need though. My hat goes off to all the mums with LOs so close in age - that is one thing I knew I couldn't (wouldn't?) do. We'll have 2.5-3 years between baby 2 and 3. I have a few friends with a bigger age gap than usual between their kids and it seems to work really well.

Good luck hon!

[Just Me]

Friends with 2 or more kids have said 'Yeah, wait unitl the next one is here and see what you think' but I highly doubt this next child will change my mind about having a third. I never thought having just one baby would be as challenging and time consuming as it is but it certainly didn't stop me for a minute from wanting another one. I'm pooping my pants about having another baby but I know I've survived 22 months with DD, I'm sure I'll adjust and cope all over again. And that's my theory for number three - I'll cope, we'll cope. Sink or swim - we'll swim

Taurean, I was scared of having two as well but once I had them, I was really okay. I think my hardest transition was none to one. By the time I had my second baby, I was doing the baby thing. I was used to the sacrifices needed to make life settled and smooth. I had experience with a baby and surprised myself with how much I just seemed to know how to do when I had felt so hopeless with DD1. The unknown is always scary, but you will cope. You get to the end of your rope and somehow, you just manage to find more rope.

I actually think one of my favourite times with my kids was just after DS1 was born and I had DD1 and DS1 together. I tried to be prepared for having to breastfeed with a toddler around and it worked out okay. You will do fine. I am so excited that you want 3 or 4 kids

[Taurean]

JM - Your my inspiration hon!

[Tegam]

4 is awesome! they just fit! go for it!

[Tegam]

I am also loving 3 but 4, 5 or 6 would be better

i love it! we have 4 and i dont feel done!

[StrawberryMumma]

It's a tough decision but really, it's a great situation to be in Win win!

Our number 3 came along as a big surprise, and although pretty healthy, he's still had some medical problems along the way. This threw us big time. Before birth, I was imagining how I would cope with 3 littlies but I never imagined the possibility of medical problems thrown into the mix as well. But you know what? I'd never change a thing!..Our 3rd is the most delicious little human being you could imagine!
So 3 for us has meant highs and lows

GL with your choice!

[OceanPrincess]

It's a tough decision but really, it's a great situation to be in Win win!

True hun, too true. DH and I have been chatting about it on and off for the last couple of days... And he said today that he wants three. He doesn't feel like he's done. If he wasn't such a macho tradey I'd be thinking I married a woman

I think I've got one more left in me.

[Tegam]

It is really hard for a normal person to live in a healthy life with the sleeping of 5 hour. We must use 7-8 hours daily to be healthy and fit physically and mentally as well.

Id love 5 hrs at the moment

May not be "healthy and fit physically and mentally " but i am happy