Is your DH/SO good at buying you presents?

[Heaven]

Mine is awesome. I don't know what it is this year but he's had it for at least a month. He had it delivered to work so I couldn't see and bought it home a few days ago. I can't wait to find out!

[MrsFabuloso]

Mine is awesome. He always gets me something I never knew I always wanted, lol! Really he does.
Me on the other hand....I usually get him something which he says..."Oh....wow....thaaanks babe." And instantly I know he doesn't like it. No matter how much I try to think of something awesome, he usually thinks it sucks

[LuluHB]

We do a list for each other too so a lot of the time its things I know about like books, dvds etc but he is also brilliant at organising significant, surprise presents. I've got a few stunning pieces of jewellery that he has designed himself. The designs are always something significant to us, like the pendant he gave me when DD1 was born styled like the sculptures of a family that you find in Africa. Our first holiday together was to Africa.

Most of the time though we buy a joint present for each other that is for the house. This year we're buying each other another tivo.

[nothing2lose]

I write a list & DH has gotten a few things off that. I sort of guessed one b/c DD picked it (a pandora charm, but don't know which one). I just got DH some clothes and electric salt & pepper shakers (in house joke!) Usually DH needs a push or hint

Lol Rhi!! Electric salt and pepper shakers are an in joke here too!

DP isn't too bad. I got diamond earrings one year!! I got an iPad 2 for my birthday. He's bought me books I wanted too. Other times he buys me what I ask for, or takes me shopping. I can't complain.

This year we decided no pressies between us.

[Astrid]

DH can be very bad or very good. For ages he would either get me a bunch of flowers (I like as a surprise, but not for b'day, anniversaries etc) or a box of chocolates (which he would eat half). Cracked it in the lead up to my 30th and told him it was make or break time. Got an overlocker that year

Now I pretty much tell him what I need/want (we don't have much money, so I we can't waste on wrong presents). For Christmas this year we have agreed on a combined present.

[Rosey]

Mine DH is usually very thoughtful.

This Christmas he has come home with a Michael Hill gift box and has tried to give it to me early. I suspect it may be an eternity ring as we're expecting our first baby and when he tried to give it to me he had some beautiful words to say... Although I stopped him and told him to wait till Christmas morning *redface*


Sent from my iPhone... Please excuse the mistakes

[peanutter]

my DH is a bit hit and miss, but he does make an effort - I'm just hard to buy for

he's getting more hits than misses the longer we're together, though, and as long as I know there's been some genuine attempts, I normally don't get frustrated with the misses.

[Rainbow_Mumma]

DH is shocking i just usually buy it myself and tell him its my xmas present
But since reading this i think we should write each other lists what a great idea!

[mummame]

Mine doesn't even try!

The year before last he didn't get me anything and when I asked him why not, he said he was going to buy me a new pillow but I got in first and bought new ones so he didn't bother. Then last year he left it until xmas eve and then said he needed help. He was going to buy me a coffee machine...only problem is I do not and never have drunk coffee and neither does he I ended up buying my own present this year, threw it at him and told him to wrap it...at least I got something I wanted

[meow]

My H isn't too crash hot at the whole thing. I write a list but I don't find I get much of a surprise. This year I told him I want a bottle of champagne. And my shopping tips were think local and/or organic. Means I get a sort of surprise and he gets clear directions which he seems to need!

[Smoke Jaguar]

After many years of epic fail at Christmas, DP got me a camera that I actually wanted last year. I think he thinks it makes up for every fail before that at Christmas AND my birthday and every Christmas and birthday forward, because I got nothing for my birthday and he hasn't made ANY effort for Christmas this year. Unless you count complaints about me spending all our money because he left ALL the Christmas shopping to me and had ZERO input into the presents for the kids. He asked what I wanted and the things I mentioned he acted like I was asking for diamonds, then said he wasn't going to get me those things.
In his guilt he gets angry at me and puts out red herrings like that. So, falling for it, this year I said he could consider the bike trailer (which is actually a gift to the whole family because both of us have used it for the kids who absolutely love it) my Christmas present and instead write me a heartfelt card telling me how he feels about me. Well, I'll be surprised if even that happens.
There are times I think "I'd like to get x, but I won't because what if DP is thinking of getting it for me?", then I laugh and remember that that is so highly unlikely, so I get things for myself. And I'm not exactly Ms Extravagance...especially when the bulk of my shopping comes from op shops...
I wanted something to mark the end of my degree and I got nothing, not even a "I'm proud of you", just a "thank goodness that's over" (because he'd had to pick up so much slack while I had exams on). So, his mum has given me some Christmas money and I'm going to the hot springs with it! Also, I won half a surfboard of my choice from a distributor and he was complaining that we couldn't afford the other half (as if I was going to waste my first prize in a random draw on a board I need!), so I said I would ask my parents to foot the rest, with some chipped in from us so that I would feel everyone was contributing to my graduation present. Then DP had the nerve to complain that I wanted him to chip in even $80...it's not just that he's a tightar$e, it's that he won't extend himself to even thinking about what anyone else would like.
So, to answer the OP, no, he's crap, and he sounds even crappier than any of the DP's here in the thread. It's not like Christmas and birthdays just pop up last minute. And it's not like I give a bad example for timely gift-thinking.

[krysalyss]

DH and I don't really do xmas presents. Sometimes we will but it is more the exception rather than the rule. We do birthdays though but often like last year I get a bit of time to myself for my birthday and get to choose something. I actually really value that time to myself to have some quiet shopping and buy something that I just really like other than what I really need.

[bec293]

I believe presents are not important. I don't like how people are made to feel like they have to buy me something just because of a certain day.. but if someone really wants to buy something then I think a lot of thought needs to go into buying something personal, and not just because they feel obligated.

[Onelittleprincess]

DH bought me the best present. A coffee table style book of our dd. I almost cried. He put so much effort into selecting the pics and compiling them

[Cranky Kitten]

This year DH and the kids got me a gorgeous sparkly black KitchenAid

[bec293]

I know I have already replied, but I have just been thinking about this a bit more.

So your DH feels like he 'has' to buy you something, but he left it too late and went out to do some last minute shopping to buy something in a hurry? To me that would mean he would end up buying something impersonal, just something that looked good on the shelf at the time with not much thought gone into it, because he felt like it was something he had to do. Why not just tell him not to worry about it? I don't know about you, but I would like to teach my son it is better to give than to receive, and to feel good by the act of giving without expecting anything in return. Kids learn so much by our behaviour, so I would never want to show that I am feeling upset or even slightly disappointed over receiving any kind of gift, or even not to receive one at all.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I had sweet FA to unwrap this morning. No, not even the piece of paper with some thoughtful words about how DP feels about me - and that wasn't going to cost any money Zip, nada, niente. He apologised, in a half-arsed way and then said "you're probably used to it", so I nodded. No more to say, really.
My son knows all about giving - he thought birthdays were occasions to buy someone else something until this year, when the kinder kids wised him up a bit. There is no shortage in this household of being a gracious giver. Thankfully, he didn't notice that I had nothing under the tree.
As I was wrapping the final gifts last night I mentioned to DP that the kids have gifts because I did all the work, the kids have a tree because I brought it in (I wasn't supposed to because of my pelvis, but requests weren't successful) etc.
So, yes, it's usually a bit of a personal let-down every Christmas, birthday, birth (I rock at birth and I don't deserve, apparently, any kind of token for my efforts and intense preparations ).
bec293 - I don't want him to buy me something last minute. Christmas is on at the same time every year. I want to be thought about. Most people I know do. To put zero thought into someone who raises your children, keeps the fridge and pantry full, keeps you clothed and keeps the house from descending into a hazardous waste land is not exactly a good example to give to a son, either. Though I hold out lots more hope for DS, because I AM damn good example of how to be gracious, not ask for too much and get by on very little. I had been living in a caravan until September, and with very, very basic facilities all year - a last minute hair clip would have been a nice gesture, at this point! I keep second-guessing myself, thinking maybe I'm getting about with a sense of undue entitlement. Then I think of how we've been living all year...and I know it would have KO'd many stronger relationships by now!
Anyhow, vent over - the kids are super happy with their few offerings, a day with cousins and huge feastings. I'd rather spend Christmas in Kiribati, and one day I'll get my wish!

[bec293]

Mayaness - sorry you have such a crappy situation, sounds much more involved than mere gift giving. I didn't read your previous post until now, only the original post by Ash. Hope you get your Kiribati holiday one day