10 things breastfeeding advocates should stop saying

[Erin_25]

I'm sorry, I'm confused.........is this a Formula Feeding discussion & SUPPORT or am I in the wrong section. Seriously, am I in the wrong section?

[sloane]

thanks for posting tinks.

i saw this on fb as well & it was making me think that there's a fine line between being supportive of someone trying to BF (i.e. trying to be encouraging in a 'you can do it' way) and making them feel that there is only one choice & they have failed if they don't BF. i always try to respond to threads where someone is struggling with BFing & i hope i never say anything that could be construed in a negative way. this has made me more aware that i need to choose my words carefully & not just post blindly.

fwiw, i never really notice which forum things appear in - i always use the new posts search & then just read the threads that jump out at me.

[mel_cur]

thanks for posting tinks.
fwiw, i never really notice which forum things appear in - i always use the new posts search & then just read the threads that jump out at me.

I'm the same! I just read the title of the thread and see if it's something I am interested in

[Erin_25]

well I'm sorry but there are different sections & threads for a reason, I'm not saying that what you have said is at all wrong, just that you should always know where you are posting for the very reason each section has it's own division. So again, is this not a discussion & SUPPORT thread for Formula Feeding??? or was this posted somwhere else & then moved?

[sloane]

it is about support but then again, unless i have something supportive or constructive (if someone has asked for feedback) to offer, i don't post.

[PumpkinZulu]

Erin I don't know why you capitalised 'support'...nobody here is being unsupportive as far as I can see. The nature of the article IMO encourages comment from both FF and BFers, I don't think the OP's intention was for only FFers to post?

[~clover~]

well I'm sorry but there are different sections & threads for a reason, I'm not saying that what you have said is at all wrong, just that you should always know where you are posting for the very reason each section has it's own division. So again, is this not a discussion & SUPPORT thread for Formula Feeding??? or was this posted somwhere else & then moved?

It was started here, not moved. As far as I can see it's supportive of FF...

[Smoke Jaguar]

The post is useful, and I think it would serve a far greater purpose to be in a different section. Perhaps a mod could move it? Otherwise, anyone can read and post in this section.
I prefer not to support new mums with negative references to formula feeding mums, so I can't see how sniggering about the dumb things some well-meaning (sometimes not) and less-informed people say materially or emotionally supports a mum who has had to use formula.
I think it's encumbent on all of us to counter ignorance, not just formula feeders, and not just breastfeeders. Ignorance doesn't serve us as mothers, does it?

[Erin_25]

then perhaps this should be moved. Is that not why we join in on certain groups so that we can have that discussion on some points that sometimes not all agree with but we feel comfortable with it in a specific section?. Yeah I highlighted it & no I don't agree that all answers have been supportive at all. It is still a FF thread.

[delphmoon]

The post is useful, and I think it would serve a far greater purpose to be in a different section. Perhaps a mod could move it? Otherwise, anyone can read and post in this section.
I prefer not to support new mums with negative references to formula feeding mums, so I can't see how sniggering about the dumb things some well-meaning (sometimes not) and less-informed people say materially or emotionally supports a mum who has had to use formula.
I think it's encumbent on all of us to counter ignorance, not just formula feeders, and not just breastfeeders. Ignorance doesn't serve us as mothers, does it?

tell you what- cut and paste it if you want and have your discussion about whatever it is you want in whatever place you want it.

It was posted here to give FF mums the opportunity to discuss their experience and maybe debrief alittle.

Copy and paste it into wherever you want and over intellectualise the issue there and leave us to discuss what we are in a "formula feeding discussion and support" group for!!

Thankyou!!

[PumpkinZulu]

Bah. THIS is why there is this seemingly great 'divide' between FF and BF...not because people are not doing what is best for their babies (because anyone who truly believes a FF mum is not doing her best at the time for her baby doesn't need to be listened to), but because there's this perception that we need to segregate FF and BF mums. For practical things like questions and support, yeah sure, I can see how only a FF mum can really help with a FF question, but this article lends itself to discussion from both parties for goodness sake! It's that attitude which causes this 'divide'..."oh no, a FF/BF mum is trying to discuss something which I happen to have chosen! It must be an attack! They BF/FF, and that makes me feel bad about my choice, I can no longer have a conversation without becoming defensive!" It happens with both types of mothers and it drives me batty! Own your choices ladies, don't feel bad about them. I'm a huge BFing advocate (and not the type that is blanketed in the article, there are advocates and then there are 'advocates'), but really, come on, you don't see FF babies walking around with two heads! Yes there are some risks. It's a synthetic product afterall, but they are minimal! At the end of the day nobody will be able to tell your child apart from a BF child, they are healthy and smart and beautiful like the rest of 'em. So just own it instead of getting defensive over the stupid, insensitive minority of people telling you you're not doing it right.

Rant over.

[kelsbels]

So sad that such a great op has once again turned to this.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Kaz, I knew you'd love the group; they're ace, aren't they? Glad you've got a great bunch of people to share your dual experience with and have somewhere you feel you belong - I hope you grow to love them as much as I do And thanks for sharing about it here, too - I hope it doesn't get lost in the false dichotomy

[delphmoon]

The problem is PZ, this thread wasn't even intended to be about what you are saying. It was to empower women to have responses and to have something to say when confronted with scenarios. There was no discussion of BF mums etc...it was about FFers.

And why shouldn't we be entitled to a group like everyone else. There are groups for people TTC, TTC + 6 months, TTC +1 year, LTTC etc. Does that segregate people...no...it recognizes that possibility the psychological needs of each group differ.

The nerve of some people to come into a thread and say "this doesn't belong here" etc...Hello....the discussion was going quite fine until all that started.

[onthefly]

The posts are directed at breastfeeding advocates, no? Surely the point is to try and help advocates avoid hurtful (and ultimately unhelpful) statements and try to find more positive ways to go about things?
If it's only for an audience of formula feeders, then what was the purpose?

[delphmoon]

Kaz, I knew you'd love the group; they're ace, aren't they? Glad you've got a great bunch of people to share your dual experience with and have somewhere you feel you belong - I hope you grow to love them as much as I do And thanks for sharing about it here, too - I hope it doesn't get lost in the false dichotomy

And your in here because ????????

[PumpkinZulu]

I actually agree that it belongs here! I thought Kel coming in, as much as I usually agree with and respect her, really disrupted things. Also note my OP... I found the article fantastic. What I don't find fantastic is people saying to move it, blah blah. It's good as is IMO, everyone can still see it. I think we're on the same page Delph

[Jellyfish]

So instead of helping people learn to be more supportive and tactful and avoid hurting FFers, you would rather they butt out of 'your' area so you can brainstorm ways to combat their comments (even if they are not intending to be hurtful)?? That seems to be counterproductive, don't we all want to be on the same side here? I don't think ANY breastfeeder wants to alienate or hurt a FFer. I certaintly don't and would rather know these things, I want to understand... but we aren't welcome... confused